HOW I (BARELY) SURVIVED BABY SITTING

It is my informed opinion that looking after children is an art form that requires you to be open to scams, basically.
On Tuesday I got the chance to babysit a friend’s two children, ages two and four.

I was excited because I know that I am good with children. It turns out although I may be good with children, they are not always good with and to me, I cried once.
The day began when she left to attend to an urgent matter and without thinking twice I volunteered to watch these adorable children until she was done.
The initial plan was that she would slip out while the two-year old was distracted so he wouldn’t kick up a fuss at watching her leave and resigning them to being watched by a beautiful stranger – it is me, I am the beautiful stranger in this story.

The plan failed because children are surprisingly smarter than we give them credit for.
As soon as she tried to slip out the four-year old ran to the door shouting “mommy please remember to buy me sweets and a doll and and and.”
We were both trying to shush her but the little princess had to get her compliments out, loudly, “MOMMY YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL”.
So obviously the two-year old had to see what all the fuss was about.

It was both frustrating and adorable, which is my summation of the experience of child rearing.
As soon as the door closed the two-year old scrunched his eyebrows, looked me dead in the eye, opened his mouth and scream cried.
I felt personally attacked but it was only two seconds into my baby sitting stint and I was not going to be defeated.

So I picked him up and walked to the kitchen cupboard to retrieve one of my many secret weapons – Cheese Curls. It was 9:30am but a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do.
I then put on Paw Patrol for them to watch and suddenly the house was calm and happy. I was really proud of myself.

However, I then realised my anxiety was through the roof because I didn’t want to make any sudden movements that may make the children realise their mum was gone and an imposter was standing in her place.
After the entire packet of chips finished, I turned off Paw Patrol and encouraged them to play – what I did not account for was my required participation during play time. So play I did – anything to keep the peace.
I turned my head away for one second to reply to my friend who was checking on how we were doing and all I heard was “DON’T HIT ME LIAM” *THWACK* as the retaliation was dished out swiftly. In another second there was a full on slapping fight with whichever things they had in their hands.

I pried the weapons from their tiny little determined hands and scolded them for fighting, as soon as the four-year old tried to blame the two-year old, I shut that down.
Fast forward to nap time, again I underestimated how much children mimic adult behaviour because my plan was to set them down, tuck them in and check in after two hours. I played myself because I had to climb into bed with them and fake sleep.

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