Exclusivity!

Are you wondering whether you and the man you’re with are ‘exclusive’ or not, but you’re not quite sure?

Have you spent lots of time with him, but you still haven’t had "the talk"...so for all you know he could be dating other women?

This isn’t a great place to be when you start to wonder and worry.

In fact, you probably already know it’s a recipe for disaster. And secretly, in the back of your mind, you’re worried that it might not go well when you try and talk to him about where your relationship is headed.

Or worse...you might have already tried to talk to him, and all he did was shut down and pull away.

Becoming exclusive sets the foundation for a long-term relationship. There’s something many women do without thinking about.

They grow close and attached to men they don’t know well at all and become physical with him.

But it’s only after they get physical and intimate with him that they start to worry and panic that they don’t exactly know what’s going on.

If you’ve been in this situation, you’ve probably asked yourself: Is he interested in a relationship or he seeing other women? What is he thinking?

Will he keep calling? What most of us as women fail to realise is that putting ourselves in this situation to be worrying about these questions and having no answer in the first place result in us not feeling and acting our best.　

We end up feeling awful, and it creates a huge disconnect when we try and talk to a man about it.

In a sense, we not only set ourselves up to feel bad... but we also set the relationship up to fail from the start.

There’s a better way. Smart women know not to get themselves into this situation in the first place　and they know how to set things up so that they feel great, and so does the man they’re dating.

They set things up right and they do it from the start; talking about becoming ‘exclusive’ and moving into a relationship where it’s understood that he’s not dating other women is an important foundation..

Without this foundation...you can’t really relax and truly love until you know this foundation is in place for you. The thing is...most men don’t understand this about women and about relationships.

They don’t get that a woman simply can’t truly relax and open herself up to love until she knows she can trust the man she’s with and that he’s loving and loyal. Why? Because men don’t always understand the value of this ‘foundation’ and feel it the way most women do...if a man isn’t the one asking you for an exclusive and committed relationship, it means you have to be the one to initiate the conversation.

You have the power to make this moment something that brings you and a man together forever.

Or you have the power to make this moment be the thing that puts a bad taste in his mouth about you and being in a more serious relationship at all.

There’s one mistake that almost all women make with men they’re interested in.

This particular mistake is the source of so many different problems women have in their lives and relationships; that dealing with it should be a healthcare benefit or men make a similar mistake, but it shows up in different ways.

The mistake is allowing yourself to become overly emotional around the person you’re dating in a negative and self-destructive way.　

The short-lived emotional outbreak that was only a big deal to you at the time, finds a way to mess up the great situation that you have going.

The truth is, doing these things is showing the man that you’re emotionally out of control.　And nothing says ‘run’ to a guy more clearly early on than these intense, negative, emotional ‘episodes’ and an out-of-control partner.

Ok, now let me remind you of something important...when most women start dating a great guy, they have a whole slew of positive feelings, ideas and beliefs about where things are going and how they might work out.

These are common, satisfying, and exciting thoughts. And often times, it’s the power of these positive feelings that is the catalyst in helping women look past the fears and negative feelings from past situations and move into something new.

In other words, these positive feelings and beliefs become the driving forces to ‘try it again.’ In this situation, lots of women tell themselves in the back of their minds: "I’m smarter now." "This time it’s different." "I’m over that bad period of my life where I let jerks and immature ‘boys’ mess up my life."　This guy wouldn’t hurt me the way that other jerk did."But the reality is that lots of women who tell themselves this aren’t actually ‘different’ or ‘smarter’ at all.

The only thing that’s changed is the scenery. Instead, they still carry the fears and negative beliefs that hold them back from creating new situations and experiences in their lives. So, they’re all excited about a guy and start investing their hopes in him. Things seem to be going well, and it seems the ‘curse’ is over.

But then it happens...in the new situation with the new guy, things suddenly stop being so easy, so new and so ‘perfect.’ And eventually something seems ‘off’ or goes wrong with the new guy, even if it’s something small.

And ‘WHAM!’ all the old fears and negative beliefs come rushing back out of nowhere.

That familiar sick feeling in the stomach is back. The guy problems they thought they had left behind followed them here, too.

They become anxious, and those voices start playing in their head again. "There must be something wrong with me." "There are no good men - they’re all selfish jerks and I’ll never find one who gets me and can really love me for who I am."

"I’ll never find true love, so I should just give up and stop putting myself through so much pain."I bet you’ve got a few of your own here to add to the list from that negative voice in your head.

Here’s what I’ve learned about these voices...when these negative voices start getting louder, most women leave behind the confidence, positivity, and optimism they had with a man who helped create the great situation in the first place.

And they literally become driven by fear.　All the goodwill disappears and is replaced by defensiveness and negative sensitivity.

This is what it’s like having zero control of your emotions. And guess what? This is 100 per cent ‘Grade A’ man repellent.

Here’s a harsh reality about men...men do not want to get involved or committed to women who act emotionally dependent from the start and ‘lose it’ at the first sign of difficulty.　

A man will simply ‘shut down’ and stop listening to a woman; he will emotionally and physically disconnect himself from her for fear that she will be too difficult to handle.

When a man doesn’t call back or starts to withdraw, women get upset and afraid and act in fear. When a man doesn’t share the same feelings at the same time in the same way, they become nervous and unsure in everything they do with a man.

The point I’m making here is that if you allow yourself to become too emotional and fearful in situations with men, and dependent on their behaviour for your emotional state, it will mess you up and cause him to get turned off and pull away.　Guaranteed.

Post your comment

Your name:

Your e-mail address:

Add your comments:

Please enter the code you see in the image:

Image:

Code: