THE BLESSER EFFECT

THE blesser phenomenon has reached a level we can no longer ignore. A blesser, for those who aren’t aware of the term, is someone who funds one’s lifestyle. A blesser is basically a new age sugar daddy.

Blessers have become a legit social and cultural trending topic. They have Infiltrated conversations, social media timelines and memes. Blessers are typically men with lots of money, who choose to spend it on women, usually young women. They offer trips, clothes, rent, cars and bottles in the club. Most of the time these are older men with wives and children of their own.

A girl last week, revealed on social media the unmentionable things she has had to do for her blessers and requested that the world not judge her. I cannot repeat the things she listed on that post, but it included some lewd sexual acts that were definitely shocking to say the least and only further highlighted the extent some people will go for money. It proved that the expected payment for all the gifts is sex. Most times, this is an unspoken expectation.

There are deeper details we can explore about the psychology of the culture or the socio-economic traits that enable blessers to be a persistent fixture socially.

Blessers generally represent a quick meal ticket for these women but to what sacrifice of self? Ofcourse, no one forces these women, some are happy living a nice life that these men fund.  It’s all for a show on social media, posing with new gifts or with expensive bottles of alcohol in order to get likes. Instagram is very staged and curated basically for most users, so this comes as no surprise.

These women are further treated as trophies by blessers, minimised to just bodies who must look pretty and have no opinions.
Another ignored flaw with the blesser-blessee relationship is the control the blesser can impose on their blessee.
There are already partriachial power dynamics at play then when you add the money element, it creates a dynamic where control by the blesser is warranted, since they pay for ‘your life’.

We already live in a world where partriachial and misogynistic attitudes dictate how relationships function, so one solely based on money, is bound to create trouble eventually. Men with money know that money gives access to power and there is no better example than this.

This is the high these men are chasing, power and the ability to keep continuing marginalising the female body. It may not be a conscious aim for the blesser but due to conditioning, it definitely comes into play.
When I came across a group started on Facebook called ‘BlesserFind’ and @Blesserfinder on twitter, I knew we had reached new levels. The page is set-up like a dating site, where women can submit applications and they will be linked up with a blesser courtesy of Blesser Find. Featuring hashtags such as #MoralsMustFall and ‘If you know you’re beautiful, why must you struggle?’ in their bio, it’s definitely hard not seeing this as one huge joke.
But I guess it also points to the sad truth that there is an actual demand for it. It is not clear who started the page or if it’s a real ‘service’ yet but the interest it has received is overwhelming. 
There may not be a solid explanation for why blessers have become such focal points of social spaces but they are present.
As long as the women understand what they are getting themselves into and are prepared to enter the contract with a certain awareness of the instability of it should make it easier to handle.

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