THE PAIN OF DIVORCE

The headline on the front page of last Sunday’s edition of this publication got most of us worried and talking.

The headline was, `PM to marry new wife.’
Some of what we were talking about (which we did without having thoroughly read the interview inside the paper) led us to begin speculating on a number of evil thoughts, most of which we pronounced against his excellency the honourable prime minister.

Most people I spoke to were very angry with the prime minister, while emotionally supporting Pastor Joy Maziya, the granddaughter of Chief Jozane Maziya. Both women and men who talked to me about this story went as far as concluding that if it was true that Dlamini had found new love, it raised more questions than answers.

The argument was, at the time, very compelling like all poisoned lies and gossip tends to be; so convincing that I decided to write a long and detailed letter to the prime minister, pointing out the dangers of him simply jumping into the hands of another woman even before he had fully healed from the painful divorce proceedings he recently went through with Pastor Joy.

I explained the reason I had found it compelling to share my thoughts with him on this issue - if it was true that he had already found new love and was ready to commit himself into another marriage.
In the process and in my efforts to convince him of this likelihood of making a mistake, I shared with him my own personal story of how painful I found it to be when I had to divorce my first wife, who had done me no wrong!
I told him about the inner struggles in my soul when I stood up in court, asking the court to separate me from the woman I had told that for better or worse I was going to stick with her until death did us part.
What made this process even more hurting and painful to me was my ex-wife’s choice not to contest the divorce but choose not to remarry until either of us died.

If I was the first to die and she was still eligible to marry - then she would marry. He said should she die first, then I would be released from her commitment to me. I had written that in the letter I presented to the prime minister on Wednesday, February 15, 2017. It was meant to show that separating from a person you once loved and married is a very excruciating experience, which leaves scars which take long to heal; even if one is thereafter happily married to another woman, just as I am happily to the mother of my children. With God’s help, I have dedicated myself to be the husband Ephesians 5 verses 25-30 talks about:  loving her as Christ loved His church. This is my daily struggle so long as I live.
 

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