MALUME AKALUMANI SYNDROME

 In our Eswatini society, a child takes the paternal family’s surname. Even though this is the case, it does not mean that the maternal family is less important. Both families, maternal and paternal, play pivotal roles in the child’s life until he or she journeys back to the essence.

Today I want to talk about uncles, bomalume, bo ankel, hhayi the western uncle version, ngisho bhuti wamake wakho. I want to talk about their vital role they are slowly losing grip of, tragically it seems.
Our society respected and trusted bomalume so much that they gave them a huge role of being the family’s spokesperson during lobola negotiations.

Relationships

Bomalume are a family’s representatives. The uncles bayitolo had close relationships with their nephews such that when his nephew came back home, eyes leaking from his first heart break, malume would burst out laughing until his chest shook, eyes leaking, jokingly mocking ‘sokhulile mshana wami’ he would say in between his laughs.

He would then dish out the best advice and teach his nephew the game of love and how to treat a woman.
Malume would put his niece on his shoulders, taking her to school noma nje i-lunch box ifika seyishoda kancane but his niece would be safe. Malume would assume the role of a father in the niece or nephew’s life. Malume would be the first to know that his nephew had started flirting with the cancer stick.
He would beat his nephew up even though he chimneyed too (we do not condone child beating, nango SODV kuwe wena).
The beating would stay between them, uncle and nephew.
Umshana’s mother must not find out, if she did, umshana would not get pocket money bese imali yasikilidi wamalume ichamuka kuphi?

Cheerleader

Malume was his nephew’s biggest cheerleader during soccer games, noma abona kutsi ungatsi umshana akaliboni kahle. He would do that to build self-confidence kumshana. Malume would never auction his niece for a beer bottle. Basekhona yini labo bomalume?
Bomalume banamuhla batsi ‘ngibambele mabili emabhodlela ngitokufaka kumshana’. Bomalume banamuhla have lost self respect, they trespass between their nieces’ thighs and swell their nieces with seeds of lust.

Bomalume, when they said ‘charity begins at home’, they did not mean that you must brothel your homes. Bomalume banamuhla are not negotiating lobola, they are negotiating their freedom in a court of law for deflowering budding flowers. They are not charming the in-laws, their tongues are plagued with death threats; ‘ngitakubulala nganati tami tandla nje wayitsi vu’. Malume, ungumalume lonjani wena? What happened malume? Sitonelani bomalume, sitemukelani sitfunti?

Why relegate yourself when society respected you and crowned you with a high position of being a family’s representative? When one sees an uncle buying sweets for his niece, one can not help but wonder if the uncle is not sellotaping his niece’s mouth with sweets.
It is really hard to trust these days when uncles seem to be gracing our television screens and front pages of daily newspapers for the wrong reasons.

Double-edged

As a society, we need to do away with saying ‘malume uyalumana’. This has wormed its way and put up a home in our tongues. I do not know why people rape but I would like to believe such talks subconsciously contribute. Another problem I personally see, I may be wrong, but giving reasons why people rape can be a double-edged sword.
I know that we give those reasons because we are trying to find solutions but I feel that we somehow give the would-be rapist a ground to stand on, justifying his evil act by saying ‘I raped because of this and that’.

I know that we give those reasons to try and find the source to curb the demon but it could backfire. Some acts are just evil, period! They do not need any explanation because they are just pure evil. Let’s stop women abuse, Ngwane!
Please email mrmncedi12@gmail.cm for comments.

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