INVESTING IN HER

You have declared undying love for her and chose her to be your forever from among throngs of girls, now that she is here, willing to do life with you, do the right thing by choosing her again and again.

Many marriages suffer because husbands have become so complacent that they have forgotten the magic of love. Remember, this is the girl of your dreams who had so many qualities, enough to make you settle down and build a home with her. I wish to encourage every husband to look at his wife with the same eyes he did during courtship. Generally, most men are so smitten by love in the early days of the relationship that they tend to overlook things that turnout to be issues later on. Marriage, by nature, is a blind commitment; you enter into it not knowing how tomorrow will turnout. It is almost like we enter marriage blindfolded and trust that all will work well.

Married

Having been married to your wife for those few or many years, remember that she sacrificed her family for you. She now identifies herself more with your last name than she does with her maiden name. To those with children, your wife sacrificed her body to bear you those precious souls who bear your last name. Child-bearing can forever alter your wife’s physical appearance, yet it is a path almost every woman is willing to take. In some families, the wife stalls her career progression for child-rearing and becomes a fulltime housewife. In some cases, not because they are not capable of pursuing a successful career, but because they would rather stand behind their husbands and give them the best support in order for them to optimise the career opportunities before them.

The truth is, there are many sacrifices spouses make for the benefit of the other which we perhaps do not have enough space to record – the scrumptious meals, clean house, prayers and fasting, nursing when illness strikes and many others. It is therefore important, occasionally, to give back to these incredible people who selflessly serve their families without thinking twice about it. Investing in your wife must be effortless and should come naturally to every loving husband who recognises the important role the wife plays in his family.

Stable

Investing in your wife starts by ensuring that she is emotionally, spiritually, mentally, financially and physically stable. A husband needs to ask himself how he is pouring into his wife in these areas to ensure her total wellbeing. Investing in her emotional bank means that the husband spends time with his wife and maintains affection and fidelity – spend time in conversation and doing what your wife loves. It takes a real man to stop whatever he is passionate about and refocus his energies to ensuring that his wife is emotionally stable, not only that, but also ensuring that she is thriving.

Being emotionally balanced is a springboard in building self-esteem and having a healthy outlook of life. Emotional stability takes time, it is more than just remembering her birthday and your wedding anniversary. It has a lot to do with getting to know her intimately and allowing her to freely express her feelings and emotions. Get to know your wife’s heartbeat, her deep fears and aspirations in life. This will take more than just one date a year but a long-term commitment to her wellbeing. Pouring into your wife’s emotional wellness has many returns for the wellness of the entire family. A happy wife will create a happy family and raise children with a positive outlook on life. Not only should the husband invest in his wife’s emotional wellbeing, but also her spirituality – many husbands neglect this aspect, yet it is fundamental to the overall wellness of your wife.

Spiritual

Spiritual health begins with the husband playing his role of being the priest of his wife and leading her to a spiritual growth path. What do you deposit in your wife that keeps her spiritually educated and not gullible to false doctrines? This is a question many husbands should introspectively reflect on. It is easy to blame wives for being naïve when it comes to issues of belief and spirituality, yet there is a role that the husband ought to play in shielding her from spiritual vultures. Invest in your wife’s spiritual health by teaching Bible-based doctrine, choosing the right church which is Christ-centric, buying her good Christian literature, praying for her and walking the faith journey together. Believing right will lead to living right – investing in spiritual health will result in a sound relationship with God. It is that sound relationship that will preserve your marriage and make your wife loyal to you. Under normal circumstances we are not with our wives 24/7, it is that faithfulness to God that keeps our marriages intact. Like Joseph of old, our relationship with God ringfences us from going astray no matter how much we are lured to be unfaithful to our matrimonial promise – we then live spiritually conscious. Send comments to adminsec@mbac.co.sz

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