INVESTING IN HER II

Last week we highlighted two areas in which the husband ought to invest in his wife.

First, we looked at investing in her emotional bank account - this is fundamental for her outlook of life and self-esteem. It is normally said that women are strong, they can withstand many difficulties, however, I wish to say that this strength must be developed by the husband not by life’s hardships. Responsible husbands build their wife’s resilience by investing in their emotional bank account. This builds her up and makes her value her own qualities, knowing that she has a man on her side willing to propel her to be the best version of herself. My question and challenge to every husband is, ‘how much value have you created in your wife’? Your wife will be as strong and industrious as you are willing to support her by investing in her emotional wellbeing.

Expresses

This we do by spending time together in conversations, where she freely expresses her feelings and emotions, like deep fears and joys without feeling shame and embarrassment. Get to know her better, not just knowing her favourite colour and holiday destination. Though important as well, because it shows you notice, but know her inner thoughts, aspirations, and dreams, know her passions and her triggers. Secondly, we talked about investing in her spiritual wellbeing. This one is also overlooked by most husbands, not knowing that believing right will lead to right living. Your wife’s spirituality must be your priority, because if there is something powerful enough to disrupt or enhance your marriage, it is belief. We are all gullible to belief systems because we are in a pathway of seeking that divine being to govern our moral behaviour. Unless you are spiritually educated, it is easy to fall prey to the many belief systems out there, with leaders often masked in sheep skin, yet they are hungry wolves waiting to devour you.

Responsibility

It is the husband’s responsibility to chart a healthy spiritual pathway for his wife and family. Failure to do so will often expose his wife and family to spiritual catastrophes, opening a pathway for a mixture of belief systems in the home, which will most definitely exacerbate conflicts. The result is often the same if the husband leads his family in the wrong spiritual pathway. I wish to impress it to all citizens of this world that there is only one true God and any other belief system that does not recognize His sovereignty, supremacy and authority is a false religion. Invest in your wife’s spirituality by leading her to the right spiritual pathway, lead her in Bible expositions, lead her in prayer and family devotions, buy her good Christian literature, expose her to good Christian Women Conferences, local and international. And above all, pattern for her an exemplary Christian life for her to follow – do not just talk or point the way but walk it as well. Your words carry more weight when put into practice by you.

Another area of importance to invest in your wife is that of mental wellbeing. This is double sided, and I wish to look at it from both ends, managing stress levels and stretching the mind. Too many wives out there are suffering from depression and loneliness while their husbands are alive and at times the cause. It is the husband’s responsibility to relieve his wife from the stresses of this life – balancing household chores, children’s schoolwork, work deadlines, social and church commitments, managing relationships with in-laws and the many other important things in our lives can be exhausting.

Commitments

The husband will do well if he would ensure that he is available in all these responsibilities and commitments to walk with his wife. Your wife has limits and make sure that she is not overly burdened with all these, chip in and bring relief. If stress is not managed it can lead to more fatal illness, which persistent migraine is not to be taken likely, it could be signalling an imbalance of some sort. The other end of your wife’s mental well being I wish to challenge the husband to invest in, is that of stretching her imagination and thinking capacity. This can be done by making it a habit to share ideas and allow for the other to stretch their thinking by interrogating the idea, critically looking at the pros and cons.

Every idea shared should undergo this vigorous process where you both engage in it, dismantling its merits and demerits. When you routinely do this, it will not only improve your ideas but grow your thinking capacities and give you a cutting edge. The world needs thinkers – people with solutions for the many problems we are currently facing. Investing in the mental wellbeing of your wife can also be done by playing games together. Playing board games which require the use of the mind, can improve quick and innovative thinking. This might look so trivial, yet the results are far reaching in keeping our minds active and sharp. Invest in her by buying books that will challenge her thinking capacity and allow her to see beyond Eswatini and Africa – impressing a viewpoint that the world is her orbit.

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