ELEVATION THROUGH COMMUNICATION

THERE’S a risk that if the reader is not in the mood for a serious message or two, they will skip this article. Absolutely free to do so. But at some point, it is vital to remind oneself – through this article, or when gazing out into an inspirational view of the many wonderful sights in this country – of the essential, no vital, component that communication represents in our lives.

I want to suggest one or two highly effective pointers towards good communication that I have learnt about, one way or another, and that can be of assistance to the reader. Though I hasten to add that I don’t necessarily practice what I preach. Good communication is the essence of human harmony. Imagine how Mr Putin would behave about invading Ukraine (and no doubt, afterwards, other former Soviet States) if he allowed all Russians to express their respective views. They don’t want to invade another country and kill the people in doing so.

Submissions

A synopsis of those submissions would not support that invasion; I’ll bet you ten Emalangeni. On a brighter side, look at how the Internet has massively enhanced communication, bringing the best reference library in the world into homes and offices. And how the social media has extended and intensified human communication across borders and societies. Though we should remind ourselves of the growing pressure for a much bigger effort to bring greater accuracy, and especially integrity, into what is circulated. Productive communication is an essential feature of individual and societal growth; but often more conspicuous by its absence than its presence.

Look at the high percentage of marriages in the First World that collapse. And in so many cases, as a result of a breakdown in communication. Hence the growth in marriage counselling as a quasi-medical service within societies. Such a breakdown will so often arise from an inability to capture in words what one feels, or an inability to listen in an unprejudiced manner. The entire subject is huge and these few hundred words will barely touch the surface of capturing all aspects of good communication. But we can share one or two.

Trap

It would be easy to fall into the trap of believing that a good communicator is one with what is known as the ‘gift of the gab’, the ‘gab’ being Middle English for ‘mouth’. Such an individual would be able to speak clearly and persuasively; even mellifluously (I’ve been waiting a long time to import that high-assonance word). After all, whether you consider it, God-given or simply through evolution since the Big Bang, or both, why do you think we have developed the ability to talk through something called a mouth; ably assisted by organs in the throat known as vocal cords? It would have been fundamentally so that we human beings could communicate by means other than physical force or persuasion.

If you asked the very simple question – what is good communication – to the person on the street, most answers would centre around ‘clear talking’. In fact that’s only 50 per cent of the deal. We should not forget that we were also given a pair of ears with which to listen. And absolutely vital to good communication is close and active listening. Our children need to be told – as you learn how to speak, learn also how to listen; an essential part of interacting more effectively with each other. You will inspire and influence those with whom you come in contact, yourself growing intellectually and emotionally. You will deepen your relationships and create a better world.

Listening more deeply is one valuable stage in the process. This is common among good leaders, and is effectively showing a genuine openness to the views of others, withholding hurried judgments. It demands a warmth of attitude to the other person, an empathy where you seek to understand where the other person ‘is coming from’. Always aim to be giving that person your full attention when they speak.

Expression

An age-old expression is ‘when you are talking you can’t be fighting’. To the talking we should definitely add: The listening. And when at the micro-level of ordinary human contact, the talking should always be at a decibel level that is both decent and tolerable. ‘Greet when you meet’ is another time-honoured expression, retaining its value whether face to face or communicating by inscribed parchment or top of the range smartphone. Good communication requires more than ‘good morning’ where doctor meets patient, teacher meets student or manager meets employee. Just adding a smile expands impact and influence. We should endeavour to lean away from closed - to open-ended questions when greeting another person.

Compliments, when naturally and sincerely expressed, will always have a positive effect, influencing how people feel about who they are, and who they become. As leaders, or just family or friends, let us choose our words to do some good. And those words should seek to include disclosure. That is disclosing how we feel, who we are, and what we are ourselves, in an authentic and honest manner, reflecting a common humanity. And we should aim to develop compliments further into tangible encouragement, thereby providing the social support that enables others to develop and succeed. Practising the above techniques – though not exclusive in nature – of good communication is guaranteed to assist in personal growth and relationships with others, whether at home or at work or just socially. This can be your contribution to creating a better society.

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