HUMAN BEINGS WITH TWO SIDES

THE reader might leap in with a pre-emptive strike, reminding the writer that, of course, we all know that a human being has two sides – a left and a right. But today we focus on the other meaning; assuming, of course, there is only one other meaning.

You never know, with the English language that had substantial contributions from mostly unwelcome visitors such as the Romans, French, Vikings, Angles and Saxons; with Greek somehow, also imported many moons ago. No better example of the eccentricities of the English language lie in the six ways of pronouncing words that end in ‘…ough’. Have a go; answer is at end of article.

Dimension

And that two-sided dimension to Man (or WomaMan as they may now say in ‘woke’ circles) is no more evident than on the roads of England, and perhaps most of the countries of the First World. During a very recent journey when visiting family in the UK, I savoured the delights of a wonderful variety of landscapes, and abundance of superb centuries-old residential and other buildings. All tucked snugly into villages along the winding, densely-leafed tree-lined country roads; every rural scene unique in design and content. I loved it, so many scenes taking me back to my childhood there. That’s a few years ago, by the way. And then, as normal hours of the day emerged, the dreamy feeling evaporated. If your phone-GPS was fitted with a stress meter it would scream. Because there are far too many vehicles on those roads. And the manner of driving has ‘detoriated’ over the years. The first impression is the plague effect. You descend from a height on a motorway, and ahead of you are packed lines of vehicles like a swarm of insects moving two ways.

Graphic

At night it is even more graphic. Well, if all the vehicles were to be on a motorway with a minimal number of roadworks, it would not be too bad, though more than a bit scary for the visitor. But the country roads are a different story. Driving along, not slowly but at a reasonable speed, you see a trail of vehicles growing in length behind you. With the first in line, some bully-boy who believes he’s mandated by the crowd behind to ‘tailgate’ you, and in a dangerous manner.

Why is that? I’ll put the usual E10 on the following reasons. Firstly, the drivers know the roads - the tight, windy or skiddy bits and the adverse camber (there are no potholes on the main roads), and they don’t consider for one moment that you might be a visitor. Secondly, they are now driving not in the tiny car similar to the one at my fingertips but big expensive vehicles - costing ‘an arm and a leg’, perhaps one of those previously devoted to the dandy horse – and with comfort, sound and control levels which, when you are behind the wheel, give the impression at 100kph that you are only doing half that.

The third suggestion is less charitable. People in those countries have two sides. Off-road, they are generally polite, but on-road, just plain impatient, feeling that if a car can go fast then it must be driven fast.  Perhaps a First World life imposes a need to rush to every destination. And there is a huge number of cars on the English roads and, by the law of averages, plenty of bully-boys. Around 41 million people in that country hold a driver’s licence; and driving 38 million licensed vehicles.  Cars remain the most popular form of transport, with the vast majority of adult journeys made by car, indicating that this mode of transport still plays a significant role in many people’s lives.

A more relaxed moment comes when we reflect on the continuing decrease in new diesel registrations, owing to hikes in road tax for diesel cars, and a growing anxiety about the imminent emission zone fees that look likely to come into effect across the UK. And the congestion fees of inner-city London could spread to other cities. But it won’t change the behaviour on the winding country roads. Returning to the space on the Eswatini roads was a treat.

Vehicles

A significant number of vehicles on the UK roads are actually owned by a company and not an individual. We all know how so many drivers behave in that situation. One of the darkest moments on the English roads is the massive, loaded car carrier overtaking you at 125kph, ‘jaws’ agape ready to devour you. Furthermore, no fewer than 55 per cent of companies in the UK now provide an expenses-paid car to a number of employees, with 45 per cent of all companies providing the choice between a car and a cash allowance. Well, on the one hand, that shows the resources available in the First World but also, and encouragingly, it enables growth in the trend towards the greener options.

A majority of the companies allow employees to select alternatively-fuelled cars including LPG, biofuel, hybrid and electric cars. This puts the UK in third place behind Sweden and the Netherlands. And 1.5 per cent of company-owned fleet vehicles are now either plug-in hybrid or fully electric. Show that terminology to the occupants of this planet half a century ago and they would have said, ‘Whaaat?’ Adding, ‘Green cars? What on earth …?’ Yes, on Earth. We are trying to protect it. The ‘six ways’ answer: rough, cough, bough, though, through and thorough. Did you get ‘em?

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