Times Of Swaziland: IT’S THE FOMO AND JOMO SEASON

IT’S THE FOMO AND JOMO SEASON
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By Nathi Gule on 22/12/2018 08:19:00


Today let us take a journey of emotional intelligence and how to use its
artillery to come out of this festive season with little or no regrets.
Emotional Intelligence is one of those nice terms used by motivational speakers
to sound worth every cent of the entrance fee.
But it is also a very critical component of life. It is the capacity to be aware
of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal
relationships thoughtfully and gently.
Mastering this works wonders for your professional life as well as leads to
healthy personal and love relationships. Its pillars are self-awareness,
self-regulation, motivation and social skills. In a nutshell emotionally
intelligent people are not led by the day, they lead their days. Yes emotional
intelligence is a trait of successful people and leaders.
It also leads to a life of peace. Almost like the kind of peace that made Jesus
sleep in a boat in the midst of a storm.
Creation
The words peace and festive season are usually not in the same sentence though.
That is because this season is fertile ground for creation of FOMO...Fear of
Missing Out.
The music charts feature a hit track these days with the lyrics... ‘namhla nje
angibuyi endlini, uzongthola Eyadini...kwaze kwamnandi enthathakusa’ loosely
translated as ‘today I am not returning home, you will find me Eyadini (a
popular nightspot)...it is so nice here, at the place where we stay until
dawn.’
This song is an anthem on radios and gatherings and creates a partying FOMO. As
the lyrics go, it basically promotes cross-nighting.
This song has a sister in Babes Wodumo’s Wololo where Babes recites...
‘wavuka ekseni awazi ulalephi’ meaning ‘you woke up this morning, you
don’t even know where you slept.’
Playing
That track was the most downloaded song at one point, never mind its message.
Then again we live in a world where a ‘song’ called Young, Dumb and Broke
got over 500 million You Tube views.
And while at it another called Mine Ngiscatfulo (I am a shoe) is still playing
on many stereos. Anyways let me leave music to musicians. I cannot sing to save
my life.
What is evident is that the festive season is fully upon us. If it was a car it
would be on the fourth gear now. So also in full swing is the battle between
FOMO and JOMO. FOMO is anxiety one gets that an exciting or interesting event
may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social
media website.
Enjoying
It is also aroused by flashy images of night life on television and the likes of
earlier mentioned musical ‘poems’ by Manqonqo and Babes Wodomo. FOMO and the
overly commercialised festive season are cousins.
On the other hand there is JOMO. JOMO is Joy Of Missing Out. This is basically
when as a person you have pleasure gained from enjoying one’s current
activities without worrying that other people are leading seemingly more
fulfilled lives.
It is what many term as a boring life and a life not truly lived. Yet on the
contrary it is a life of self development, growth, safety and most importantly
it is fantastic on the pocket.
As we are in the period of a bleak economic outlook, our spending patterns
cannot be those of yesterday. We need to be frugal instead of lavish.
In fact we cannot afford to be wasteful all in the name of chasing fool’s
gold.
Eliminates
During her recent appearance in Eswatini Lesedi FM’s Twasa advised the youth
to abstain from both early sexual debut and alcohol.
She said both these things have the ability to take away years of your life you
can never regain. She went on to say if a man loves you he will not take you out
on an alcoholic drinks date, but will instead take you out for a healthy dinner
or lunch. A drinks date eliminates a couple of days off your life expectancy in
her non medical opinion. I agree with her.
So, while the urge to succumb to FOMO can be overwhelming and the thrill
intoxicating, the hangover you get from it is equally extreme—the worst. JOMO
on the other hand has no regrets and is a product of emotional intelligence
especially the pillar of self-regulation and self-awareness.
There are a lot of advisers on how to spend responsibly or behave this festive
as the season is about to hit fifth gear. This one impressed me the most, “buy
your none perishable groceries, pay your rent, buy your electricity. Leave money
sufficient for transportation and food to work.
Then you can go impress people who do not even care and will be the first ones
to laugh when things go South.”
Succumbs
In a nutshell, choose the needs before wants, JOMO over FOMO and that will lead
you to a peaceful festive season and a great January.
Can you imagine the difference between a person who starts the year in bed or in
church, sober compared to the one who succumbs to peer pressure and starts the
year intoxicated and broke from a night of fun? It sets the tone for the rest of
the year.
The power to choose is always ours and we need to make the right choices.
We can go out, we can have fun, we can succumb to FOMO but let us do so
wide-eyed and responsibly remembering that short-term plans rarely have long
term benefits. As the lit generation would say... ‘stay woke.’ After all, we
have only one life. May you all have a blessed, safe and amazing Christmas.