Times Of Swaziland: THE OTHER SIDE

THE OTHER SIDE
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By Khulile Thwala on 11/12/2020 00:40:00


CERTAIN habits are primarily categorised as a cry for help. We don’t
necessarily realise it the minute it happens, however, it takes putting yourself
in the shoes of the individual to see that their behaviour is simply a
projection of their internal battles.
Recently snippets of a Facebook live recording made the rounds on social media,
where a young lady was seen fondling the manhood of what is purported to be a
married man. The reactions that followed after the public had seen the video
varied.
Reaction
However, the predominant reaction was one of disgust, disappointment and
embarrassment. There was also a different reaction though, one of concern and
intrigue towards the lady in the video, which was mostly expressed by women.
The immediate response when one views the video is shock of how people could
explicitly record themselves in full public view with no knowledge of the
repercussions. But as you take a minute or two, you realise that alcohol played
a vital role in the overall incident. This is why the judgement the girl in the
video is facing is not only uncalled for but unwarranted. No one has taken the
time out to find out more about her background, her behaviour without alcohol in
her system and whether in fact this whole scenario was intentional.
Views
Most people would probably consider me biased and too liberal in my views about
this girl’s behaviour, but I am merely attempting to demonstrate the other
side of the story. There are so many girls and women who exhibit questionable
social behaviour because of various reasons that we should all take note of. Of
course this is not to suggest that these reasons are based on the Facebook live
video recording that got everyone speaking. These are general reasons that apply
to any woman who could find their character being questioned.
Commonly, the number one reason for acting out is the absence of a father figure
in one’s life. We can downplay the necessity of a father all we want but they
play a huge role in building the character of a woman.
However, this is not just any father, but an active father. By an active father,
I mean a man who is involved in their child’s life, not only through financial
support but emotional support as well. Most women who grew up with an active
father figure tend to be confident, assertive and self-aware. They refrain from
behaviour that would warrant negative attention and negative feedback.
Exposed
Such behaviour is also a result of being exposed to harmful habits or character
traits from a very young age. This is particularly due to the habits of either a
model in the child’s life or generally the adults in that child’s life.
A model basically refers to someone the child looks up to and often repeats
their behaviour as a form of admiration and generally because children exhibit
learned behaviour. Some children are exposed to abuse, either physical,
emotional or sexual. This in turn results in them acting out as a form of
projection and demonstration that they are not over their childhood trauma.
Therefore, when we come across videos or even see this questionable behaviour in
a person, we must not be quick to judge and persecute. We must be objective in
our thinking and realise that there are always two sides to a story.
It is quite common for young people, in particular, to behave in unconventional
ways, however, adults have the responsibility to not just reprimand them but to
also see things from their point of view. However, all this does not necessarily
mean this is the case with the young lady in the subject video, her story might
be completely different, but it should also be considered and it is also valid;
we should always remember that.