Times Of Swaziland: The Father Factor 2

The Father Factor 2
================================================================================
By Charles Samunenge on 27/08/2013 02:12:00


We have so many crises in many sectors of society, education, economy, politics,
family etc, and this basically is the result of crises in manhood. Many men
suffer from identity crises.
They define themselves by externals. The type of car I drive, the type of house
I live in, the kind of profession I am in, and so forth. These may add something
to your self-image, but cannot really define who you are as a man. Real manhood
is actually found within the heart of a man, and has nothing to do with
externals, money, talents, gifts, abilities etc. The quality of the inner man is
what is real about a man. The answer to male identity and role is found in the
creator.
Our generation of men seems to lack understanding of the normal values that
undergird a productive family or society. The essence of manhood is actually
fatherhood. A father is a source, origin, foundation, sustainer, provider and
protector. Therefore fathers should be the source of righteousness, peace and
joy in the family and society. Every father or man is limited in life by three
things; 1. What he knows (the quality and level of knowledge in his mind). 2.
His character. 3. The principles upon which he builds his life. These basic
three things will always define the quality of your life as a man or father.
As a man or father you must have key values in your life. We are living in a
world which has mixed up, and substitute values. We often throw away people and
keep things. Real men recognise truth and align their lives with it. What are
values? Values are that which is important, treasured, held dear, profitable,
regarded highly and significant. Values also have to do with code of behaviour,
ethics, standards and principles. You must know that some things are more
important than others; wisdom is more important than rubies, love is more
important and superior than sex and a good name better than riches. Your value
system is either created by God, you or others. Whoever dictates your values
becomes your god.
Clarifies
Know that usually money clarifies or exposes your value system. We tend to
invest our money in the things we value the most. Money will bring worthiness
and respect in your life as a man, but you must always pursue to leave a legacy
of having been a good father. Understand that individual rights cannot be more
important than the corporate good of your family or society. Fathers are key in
providing the family’s value system.
The greatest value of a father’s legacy is the values and faith he leaves in
the lives of his children. What are you modelling before your children? What are
they learning from you as a father? We must know that everything in life has
value, whether actual or perceived. We must not take things for granted;
especially the time that God has given us to make a difference as men and
fathers. Time has built-in value.
Time wasted is lost. Time spent uselessly is gone. Time invested is multiplied
through our generations. Time is a critical ingredient in successful fathering.
Spend time on that which is valuable, your marriage, wife and children. To
maximise your manhood you must embrace real values and God’s vision for your
life as a father.
A father must be a leader. He must provide leadership for his children and wife
(if he is married).
This is not dictatorial powers, but rather leadership (positive influence).
Headship does not imply superiority, but rather an office of service and
responsibility to give the family or marriage direction, order and vision.
Responsibility
To be a father is a great responsibility because you are affecting generations.
You are the author of your own personal legacy. Everything about you and what
you do matters and it is not just personal but generational. You are not just
living, you are leaving a legacy.
It is never too late to change or become a better man. Today can be the
beginning of your journey to becoming a better man and a great father. What will
make the difference is your commitment to the decision you make of becoming a
good father. Remember, good men make good marriages, good marriages make good
families, good families produce responsible citizens.