Times Of Swaziland: GIRLS, NOT BRIDES!

GIRLS, NOT BRIDES!
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The Editor on 09/04/2018 01:06:00


Sir,
Despite the limited publicity about it, child marriage is not an isolated or
uncommon practice. It is in fact so widespread that it is commonplace in many
parts of the country.
With child marriage, a girl’s childhood abruptly ends. Her health and future
are in jeopardy. Her right to live a life free from abuse is violated. We have
heard and witnessed marriages of school-going girls, or girls who were young
enough to still have been at school, but were not due to many reasons including
financial constraints.
This is not good for the girl because girls in marriages instead of in school
are not able to learn skills that could help them pull their families from
poverty or provide them some measure of independence. Their health is put in
danger – girls under 15 years of age are five times more likely to die in
childbirth than women in their 20s, and those 15 to 19 are twice as likely to
die. With virtually no power to reject unwanted sex, child brides are more
likely to contract HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases than unmarried
sexually active girls the same age. Sexual violence and domestic enslavement are
part and parcel of life for child brides.
The mentality that things should be swept under the rug, and let families deal
with them, promote nothing but continued silence on issues of gender based
violence. When one person speaks out, a host of other people in a similar
situation get help, directly or indirectly.
Women are socialised to believe that their primary role in society is in
relation to others - as a daughter, a daughter in-law, a wife and a mother.
These norms restrict women from having aspirations beyond marriage. This is why
when they are forced into marriage when they are still minors, they do not see
anything wrong with it – instead they look at it as a blessing, as something
that elevates them from their peers.
But in reality, the opposite is painstakingly true. But for many, especially
men, marriage is a means to satisfy sexual desires or access the mobility and
freedom reserved for adults; which begs the question – what’s in it for the
girl besides a growing sense of uncertainty about ‘what tomorrow will
bring’?
Back in the day, society used to rely on the village to raise a child, but now
the village wants to either marry the child or sleep with the child. If the
village cannot sleep with the child, then cases of rape become the order of the
day. Who are we then supposed to run to? It is time community members are
encouraged to stand up against these practices. Because these practices do not
happen in a vacuum, they happen in communities, in front of villagers, the same
villagers that are supposed to be protecting their members.
Nomsa M