Times Of Swaziland: BETRAYING THE SISTERHOOD

BETRAYING THE SISTERHOOD
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The Editor on 10/03/2021 07:59:00


Sir,
We all find it easier to label others, point out their weaknesses and not so
good characters than to actually praise and compliment them. I guess it makes us
feel better about ourselves to know that someone else is suffering, and even
worse off. But what we do not know is that every time we open our lips to say
something demeaning about someone else, or even something good about ourselves
that distinguishes us from others, we say hate speeches about our own kind!
Women empowerment movements throughout the world have been mainly focusing on
elimination of patriarchy, female oppression at the hands of men and instead of
male privilege, have been promoting equality of the sexes. For a long time, and
even now especially in our  society these tenets are held as truths.
Mindset
But for now let us look at how this mindset impacts the thinking and actions of
‘empowered’ women. What patriarchy theory sets up is a perceptual framework
in which men play the villains and women the victims. Women are the vulnerable
creatures, pure and good. Men on the other hand, are the powerful, overbearing
and evil brutes responsible for virtually every societal problem. No man dares
to question this perceptual framework because they would automatically be
regarded as oppressors and uncompassionate monsters.
Confusion
If a woman questions this frame of thinking, then this initially causes
confusion. This confusion quickly turns to anger and she is regarded as
betraying the sisterhood or a victim of brainwashing by the patriarchy and
religious zealots. When a plus-sized woman is empowered, she gains confidence,
but when she starts saying, ‘A real woman has curves, only dogs go for
bones’, I think that if anyone thinks this way, then they are not entirely
empowered, but turned into hateful human beings. This is because a real woman
doesn’t call men dogs, or other women bones. Once one is enlightened with
gender equality issues, then one should also be enlightened in the fact that in
order to be equal to someone else, then one has to give the same respect to the
other person that one expects back.
Hate
But most importantly, the main pushing factor that inspired this writing is the
saddening observation of how women increasingly hate each other in the name of
empowerment. There are words such as ‘fake’ and ‘plastic’ among others,
which are being used by women referring to other women. It is hypocritical of us
to encourage acceptance and freedom of choice, and yet when other women make
different choices from us, then we call them fake and unreal. As we become more
alert and more open to gender issues and women empowerment, we should really be
harmless to women and respectful of women’s rights and choices.