Times Of Swaziland: MASTERING RHYTHM FOR ROMANTIC DANCE OF MARRIAGE

MASTERING RHYTHM FOR ROMANTIC DANCE OF MARRIAGE
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Editor on 03/03/2023 08:06:00


Sir,
The strongest teams in sport have chemistry beyond the field of play and the
locker room. They are a blend of experience, communication and unity; and they
learn to overcome adversity through agreements and disagreements. Those
qualities lead to championships and celebrations. The same is true of marriage.
Human beings have an innate desire to connect, to experience dynamic
relationships with one another. And, the deepest, most intimate relationship
exists in the marital bond between husband and wife. The couple that you think
of as the ideal couple may have something very special that makes them the
‘it’ couple. They have achieved what we call a married state of mind. They
most likely understand marriage as a dance.
Mind
A married state of mind is a mind-set that prioritises your spouse above
anything and anyone in this world. It’s a state of oneness where it’s you
and me first, and then it’s them. And ‘them’ often has to include the
children too. A married state of mind is a place of trust, unity, loyalty and
harmony. Like partners on a dance floor, we lead and give way to each other in a
structured yet poetic rhythm of trust, focus and love. To fully realise a
married state of mind, you have to have a common understanding of not only what
marriage actually is, but also why the two of you are joined together in
marriage. It also means, fundamentally, you have to have a common purpose, a
shared value-system, and be equally yoked in character – your integrity.
Principle
Furthermore, a married state of mind is built on the principle of oneness, which
teaches us the essence of marriage. It teaches that marriage is a sacred
covenant that binds a husband and wife together as one flesh until they are
separated by death. It is a permanent relationship built on God’s design,
where a man and his wife grow to become inseparable. The term ‘one flesh’
means just as your body is one whole entity and cannot be separated into pieces
and still remain a whole, so it is being married. You cannot be separated and
remain as you were before the marriage. You are no longer two entities or
individuals, but are now one entity, a married couple.
Becoming one takes an intentional choice on the part of both partners. It steers
couples in the right direction, alleviating stressful moments, reducing the
possibility of disillusionment and fostering success. Marriages in alignment
provide a foundation for confident and stronger relationships. When couples are
open and honest in communicating, it builds trust. They prefer to talk things
out when they disagree. A married state of mind is connecting and willingness to
grow together on all levels. It’s referring to ‘mine’ as ‘ours’, and
then later back to ‘mine’ again as referring to both of you. It’s sharing
the responsibility of running the household, doing chores, raising children, and
providing for the family – one of the most down-to-earth aspects of married
life.
This very practical side of marriage has deep roots in something that can only
be characterised as profoundly spiritual. It’s an awesome and fascinating
mystery of two becoming one. Marriage is a romantic dance of give and take. A
picture of lead and follow that comprises routines that are not only unique to
the couple, but that are also practised over a long time in order for the couple
to finally find their own harmonious rhythm that is poetic and powerful.
Mo and Phindi