Times Of Swaziland: REALITIES OF MARRIAGE AND ACCOUNTABILITY

REALITIES OF MARRIAGE AND ACCOUNTABILITY
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Editor on 11/11/2024 13:31:00


Sir,
I am writing to address an issue that has been on my mind for some time
regarding the institution of marriage and the dynamics of responsibility within
it. It seems that in our society, we often overlook the complexities and
challenges that accompany marital relationships.If individuals are not prepared
to confront these challenges head-on, I firmly believe they should reconsider
their readiness for marriage altogether. Marriage is not a mere romantic
endeavour; it is a significant commitment that demands emotional maturity,
resilience, and a willingness to work through difficulties.
Trend
Unfortunately, there appears to be a trend in which some individuals,
particularly men, are quick to condemn women for the failures within their
relationships while neglecting to acknowledge their own roles in these issues.
The narrative often places women in the position of perpetual victims, while men
who engage in extramarital affairs, for instance, are rarely held accountable
for their actions. Consider this: if a man engages in relationships with
numerous married women—let’s say 400, as an exaggerated example—why is it
that the blame is predominantly directed at women? We must ask ourselves why the
focus is consistently on the women involved, rather than on the man who chose to
act in such a manner. This imbalance in accountability is indicative of a larger
societal issue. The system has been constructed in a way that allows men to
evade responsibility, while women are expected to shoulder the blame for the
consequences of these actions. This dynamic is not only unfair, but also
perpetuates the cycle of victimhood that many women experience.
Expectations
The expectations placed on women often lead to a culture where they are seen as
responsible for maintaining the sanctity of marriage, regardless of the actions
of their partners. When a marriage falters, society tends to scrutinise the
woman’s behaviour, questioning her fidelity, her worthiness and her role in
the breakdown of the relationship. Meanwhile, the man often escapes scrutiny,
his actions excused or minimised. It is crucial to recognise that marriage is a
partnership, and both parties must take responsibility for its success or
failure. If a man is unfaithful, he should be held accountable for his choices,
just as a woman should be. The narrative that women are solely to blame for the
issues in relationships serves to undermine the progress we have made towards
gender equality.
It is time we shift our perspective and hold both men and women accountable for
their actions. Furthermore, marriage should be entered into with the
understanding that challenges will arise. If individuals are not equipped to
face these difficulties, they should carefully consider whether they are ready
to commit to such a profound relationship. It is all too easy to romanticise
marriage without acknowledging the hard work it requires. Love is not always
enough to sustain a marriage; it requires effort, communication, and mutual
respect. In light of these realities, I urge those contemplating marriage to
take a step back and reflect on their motivations and readiness. Are they
prepared to navigate the complexities that marriage entails?
Responsibilities
Are they willing to accept their responsibilities within the relationship? If
not, it may be wiser to stay away from marriage until they are truly ready to
face its challenges. In conclusion, let us work towards creating a society where
accountability is shared, and where both men and women are empowered to take
responsibility for their actions. It is time to break the cycle of victimhood
and embrace a more equitable approach to relationships. By doing so, we can
foster healthier marriages and promote a culture of respect and accountability.
Thank you for considering my perspective on this important issue.
Phiwa Phathaphatha Dlamini