Times Of Swaziland: DILEMMA CREATED BY FATHERS THAT ABUSE DAUGHTERS

DILEMMA CREATED BY FATHERS THAT ABUSE DAUGHTERS
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Bandiswa Vilane on 22/01/2025 09:26:00


The world is a naked tree in winter, sitting idle in the middle of winter –
shameful and too uncomfortable to look at. There is no comfort under it, nor any
confidence to stand near it because of the moral decay. There may be many
psychological explanations because we exist in a world that has dressed any and
all inappropriate behaviours in the mask of psychological excuses – maybe as a
way to cope with the level at which we continue to lose moral value or perhaps
as a way to justify the abnormality of the way some people think. Anything is
possible, but the most alarming pattern I have come across this week is the
number of cases in which fathers rape and sexually assault their own children.
How has the world come to this?
Disturbing
The moral dilemma surrounding fathers who abuse their daughters is both deeply
disturbing and complex. It involves a conflict between the inherent duties of a
parent to protect and care for their child, and the actions of betrayal that
harm the child physically, emotionally and psychologically. This dilemma poses
profound ethical questions about the nature of responsibility, culpability and
moral failure, while also raising critical concerns about justice, forgiveness
and rehabilitations. At its core, the issue revolves around the violation of the
trust between a parent and a child. Fathers, as primary figures of authority,
guidance and protection in a family structure, are traditionally expected to
provide for their children’s well-being and above all, protect them. This
responsibility is not just biological but moral: to nurture, guide and shield
the child from harm.
The moral dilemma arises when considering the father’s actions within the
context of his identity and moral responsibilities. The father, in this case, is
not a faceless abuser but a person who, at some point, might have been a loving
parent, or at least a figure of authority in the child’s life. This dynamic
complicates the ethical judgment of his behaviour. Some may argue that the
father’s actions are more reprehensible because they involve a direct abuse of
the power and trust inherently vested in him by the role of a father.
Confusion
The damage done is not only physical or sexual, but emotional, as the child is
subjected to a moral confusion about love, power and safety, from the first
person that they trusted. When a father abuses his daughter, it distorts the
very concept of familial bonds, making the child unable to trust the one person
who is supposed to offer protection. The consequences are lifelong burdens to
the child, including the destruction of the child’s ability to form healthy
relationships and experience normal psychological development.
On the other hand, there is the ethical question of the father’s potential
motivations and psychological state. This creates a deep moral conflict: how
much should one take into account the abuser’s circumstances when addressing
the severity of his actions? Should moral judgment be tempered by the
recognition of the complexity of human behaviour, or is the harm done to the
child so irreparable that the father’s background becomes irrelevant to the
evaluation of his actions?
However, questions arise about rehabilitation and redemption. Can a father who
has committed such grievous acts ever be rehabilitated or is the moral damage
beyond repair? In a society that values justice, the abuser may be seen as
someone beyond redemption – validly so, and the survivor, as a symbol of
innocence, may seek not only justice but moral closure. Survivors of such abuse
face their own moral dilemma: how can they reconcile their inherent love and
respect for a father figure with the trauma caused by his actions?
Marked
The psychological process of coming to terms with the abuse, often marked by
shame, guilt and denial, adds layers of moral complexity to their emotional
recovery. In conclusion, the moral dilemma of fathers who abuse their daughters
encapsulates questions of morality, responsibility and justice. It brings into
sharp focus the tension between understanding the psychological origins of
abusive behaviour and acknowledging the harm done to the survivor. In
confronting this dilemma, society must navigate the difficult balance between
accountability, justice and compassion for the survivor, always ensuring that
the safety and well-being of the child remains the highest priority. One of the
fundamental flaws in this is the indication that children are not safe in their
own homes, in the hands of the parents that should be protecting them. They are
unsafe in the streets and they are also unsafe with their parents so where do
they go? The world in itself is already the wild, leaving no exceptions in all
the terrible things that happen and so the only place that suffices in the face
of madness is ‘home’ where we teach children to feel safe, a space that
children are told they can rely on.