Times Of Swaziland: SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER

SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER
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Nomsa Mbuli on 27/09/2024 08:08:00


About four years ago, I lost a dear friend to suicide. And I’ve been reading
and hearing stories about young people especially, those who have taken their
own lives for various reasons.
This wave once went over University of Eseatini (UNESWA)  a couple of years ago
as well. It is always an eye-opener, because as much as we might have an idea of
what happened before someone took their lives, we do not know the last straw
that pushed them to the point of taking the decision to end their own lives. So,
one wonders if we are all at risk of going through the same one day.
Depressed
Research suggests that most people who die by suicide have a mental health
issue. It may be a depressive or substance abuse disorder. They may feel lonely,
depressed or isolated.
They may have had a traumatic life experience. One of the warning signs of
suicidal thoughts is depression. Eswatini statistics revealed that there are
more women who suffer depression than men, and yet there are more men who commit
suicide than women. This means that isolation and loneliness may be the biggest
drivers of suicide. In Eswatini, in particular, why are young people so
troubled?
One of the reasons I can think of is unemployment. It’ the first thing that
comes to mind, and yet it’s not the real reason because if one takes time to
investigate the last few incidents of suicide, one can come up with the
conclusion that a majority of the cases are by people who actually had jobs.
Challenges
The most recent example is that of the police officer who shot himself at work.
My friend who took his own life about four years ago also had a job. People go
through challenges that they prefer not to talk about, or when they do voice
them out, no one takes them seriously. So the suicide risk increases if people
do not get the support they need. The thing with suicide is that it raises more
questions than answers. Could anything have been done to prevent this suicide?
Was there anything anyone could have done to reassure this person that things
would change for the better? And could anyone be sure that things would change
for the better? In short, could anything have been done differently and saved
them?
I remember how, for a while, I was very angry at my friend because I felt he
could have talked to me about his problems. I was one of the people he talked to
about anything and everything, so what was so different or difficult about this
particular problem? I went through all the stages of grief and when I finally
accepted his suicide,  I realised that it was never about me. It was about him
and the things he was going through. So the questions we ask ourselves about
their decision to commit suicide should be more on, what can be done to prevent
a future occurrence, instead of blaming ourselves and being angry at them.
Relationship
One of the leading causes of suicide are relationship problems. Again, look at
the recent report about a couple that left us in awe, after the man shot his
wife and turned the gun on himself? Anyone else remember the incident that
happened around Mafutseni, where the man drove straight into a moving truck
because he and his partner had a misunderstanding?
I will not forget to mention the Ngwane Park incident where a prominent
businessman shot his wife then himself, following speculations of infidelity.
Young couples are at risk because they are still trying to navigate the
complexities of relationships. With this in mind, what can we do to prevent or
deal with the suicide problem?
We cannot afford to just sit on the information and these statistics and do
nothing. And if it is related to finances and unemployment, can we do something,
collectively, as a country, as civil society organisations and as Parliament and
law makers?