UNDERSTANDING OTHERS IMPORTANT

Sir,  

                     
It is considered ‘normal’ in my country for children to endeavour to demean and belittle others. What is not known is that such behaviours are ‘learnt’, we are not born with them.  For example no one was born ‘hating’, it is something we were taught.

I have come to the conclusion that people who belittle others need help because these behaviours are acquired resulting from these people feeling that they do not receive attention from those they consider important in their lives.

It could be that their parents do not know how to communicate with them, or they are ignored by their siblings and other family members.
It could also be because they reside with extended families, others are treated differently to them. 

These people tend to believe that others should be ‘punished’ simply for exhuming self-confidence or for having something they do not have. There is that streak of wanting to ‘destroy’ what to them appears to be ‘better’. They may vocalise profanity as that is the only way they know how to express themselves or because of their limited vocabulary profanity is the only language they have mastered. The jealousy trait cannot be ruled out.  Why should others be so comfortable when they are insecure?

In being exceptionally loud they ‘believe’ they will get attention. Initially they will, but unfortunately if they are dealing with an ‘awakened being’, that being will defuse that energy, resulting in the perpetrator not receiving the desired result. Being loud in its self already denotes attention seeking. People who know their worth and their power do not go about screaming on top of their voices. They speak their truth clearly and quietly.

When dealing with people who suffer inferiority/insecurity complexes, it is important not to tap into their energy but to consciously ground self and return no emotion. One must be in the moment for it should be borne in mind that in their attempt to demean one, what they desire is for one to respond.

I often wonder why many have not realised that by fearing or thinking another will do this or that, they are giving the other person power over them. When we think someone will say this or that, we are actually ‘feeding’ them the energy and thus the reason people end up doing exactly that which we had feared. It is just a matter of ‘understanding’ why that person is screaming for attention. In most homesteads opinions from minors are ignored. It is as though those people do not exist.

They have no say in any matter pertaining to the home. It is this total disregard and lack of communication skills that has resulted in the society we have today. 

There are numerous adults, who do not know how to express themselves; who have not dealt with the baggage from their upbringing; it could be that they tried to vocalise an opinion and were ignored resulting in that person believing they were just not worthy of being heard.

However what we cannot deny is that attention seeking comes as a result of one or other unpleasant experience associated with our past and upbringing.
When you next encounter someone who demeans you realise it has absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with the person endeavouring to belittle you, they are screaming for help.

IJ Antonio

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