DEMEANING JOKES NEED TO STOP

Sir,

A few days ago a friend of mine and I got into an argument with two guys; one of whom had told a ‘joke’ about women, which didn’t go down well with us. It is amazing how often and casually people manipulate women and men through jokes. I just have never found sexist and demeaning jokes funny, and rape jokes are especially way out of line.

For some reason, people think that those who find sexist jokes disgusting have no sense of humour, and that they need to ‘loosen up’. Frankly, we aren’t happy just to sit and laugh at offensive things.
The truth is, when someone makes a joke about women (demeaning remarks) they are contributing to the already hostile world that women live in.

Everybody has the right to speak up and not participate in their own dehumanisation. At some point, one reaches a point where they grow tired of telling people sexist jokes aren’t funny, and why rape jokes are not really jokes. These jokes need to stop! The more people tell rape jokes, someone is going to speak against it, and that brings out more hate-filled people with ‘humour’ to stand tall in defence of their wilful disregard of basic human empathy.
For every voice that speaks out against them, three appear to tell them it’s just a ‘funny’ joke, or tell them to stop being so sensitive.

Those people probably haven’t been raped nor know anyone who has been raped. They don’t understand rape because their only exposure to it is in a trivilised form used as nothing more than a comic device for a cheap laugh. People need to know that such jokes are tactless and irresponsible. To a non-rapist they may be just a joke. But to a rapist or potential rapist, they’re a legitimisation of their actions, under the guise of societal acceptance. And to a victim, they are a horrible reminder of an ordeal best forgotten.

The second reason why rape jokes need to stop is that men get raped as well, that’s why. I am pretty sure that the men who have experienced this trauma do not like talking about it, and they do not like being made to think about it either.
In a society still leaning heavily into patriarchal imbalance, women are the main victims of rape.

But we know that they are not the only victims, the more reason for men to find the jokes less funny. Trivialising an attack can have many negative impacts on both the victim and perpetrator. It may surprise a lot of people, but there are real faces and feelings behind those jokes. And they too, don’t find it funny. Whenever someone laughs along to get an approval for having a ‘good sense of humour’, he or she is simultaneously giving rapists approval to go ahead and rape someone. After all, one day it will be a good, funny story to tell.

Nomsa M

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