SILENCE NOT ABUSE OPTION

Sir,

We have a serious problem as females in this country. Young and old are victims of sexual abuse and harassment and too many people have come to accept it because they believe they are powerless.

They live with the trauma and shame. Sadly poverty and deprivation continues and enables more men to take advantage of women because they seemingly acquiescence their actions as a mutual exchange. Unfortunately far too many women are disadvantaged from the onset due to lack of basic needs as a result they are exploited by opportunist men who initiate younger girls to sexual activities.

Deny

Of course many men will deny that they ever participated in such predatory crimes but statistics say otherwise. Some claim to be family men of good standing and are religious. This is all a ruse.

Girls who experience these atrocities become damaged as adults and are unable to make connections between a normal and an exploitative relationship. So they become properties to be used and discarded. Of course there are many men who don’t see any harm in this but none of them would wish this for their children.

A weak action against perpetrators has been identified as being a contributing factor. Two thirds of girls in Eswatini have encountered sexual harassment many times and the less privileged the woman is, the more likelihood of sexual harassment.

Higher

They say the number is far higher than reported because such crimes are mostly under reported because it has become commonplace and no one takes it seriously. In most cases the woman is blamed as the instigator, shamed and shunned by the community. So many erect a wall of silence because they do not want to lose face.

The police are ill-equipped to deal with such sensitive issues, and are more likely to make matters worse. To make matters worse, such cases fail to make it to courts and if they do, the sentence does not fit the crime. Our society has not taken this epidemic seriously, nor has government taken it on. Such crimes rest heavily on the society as they affect people mentally, physically and financially. It is no exaggeration, it is a fact.

Eswatini women deserve a shift and a reduction of the damming and high rate statistics of sexual violence and assaults. Government should provide opportunities for women and girls. A compulsory education or training for women to break the cycle of poverty and dependence, in particular to help and support women gain independence and confidence, is needed. Men who harass women at work or anywhere else should be investigated, removed and offered gender competency workshops. If the person indeed had sexually assaulted a woman or girl, that person should be fired.

If as a woman you have experienced any form of sexual harassment, it is not your fault. Speak to somebody you know and trust about your experience; don’t keep it a secret to protect perpetrators.

Life

Your life matters and you are stronger than you think and you will survive. No one deserves your silence to deal with your pain, while they continue to commit the same crime over and over again.

Being polite does not mean you have to be subservient and no one should make you feel uncomfortable. If you don’t give consent, then the person is abusing you. Be aware of your surroundings and trust your guts. If you feel uncomfortable, make your excuse and leave. Be emotionally strong and know yourself. Proper men stand up for women, not what we see lately in this country.

C M

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