RAISE RESPECTFUL YOUNG MEN
Sir,
Will women ever have a break from gruesome acts such as rape, assault and murder? In all honesty I believe that it is better to teach young boys how to be better people, than to teach men who are already deep into the patriarchal system. So everyone who gave birth to a son this year or the past couple of years, I hope you realise that right in your hands is the answer to a better world for women and girls. Let us teach our sons what our fathers failed to teach us. Boys are raised in an environment that expects them to be tough and to take risks to prove their manhood. They become divorced from emotions except for anger in order to avoid being seen as weak or ‘like a girl’.
Express
I wish we could teach our boys that it is okay to feel emotions and express them in a tactful and respectful way and that when they are hurt they can cry, and that is also okay. We need to help them with their emotions, boundaries and teach them how to create respectful relationships. The easiest way to prove manliness is to show others you are in charge of you, not others. The mentality that having control over others is power must stay in the past. We do not want to raise control freaks that start to throw tantrums when they cannot control others.
Our children need to know that there is a difference between leading and controlling; a good leader does not need to use force or intimidation, or even threats.
Last but not least, may we teach our children that the best kind of relationship is one where both parties are fully happy to be a part of. One does not need to beg someone or follow them for months trying to convince them to be friends. If they do not feel the same way you feel about them, let them go. What good does it bring to panel-beat someone into loving you? It is for this reason that when that same person no longer wishes to be in a relationship they find themselves being stalked and killed for it.
Lost
We have read too many stories during the course of the year where women have lost their lives because they rejected or no longer wished to be in a relationship with a man. May all the new parents to baby boys have the courage to raise respectful young men.
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