HYPER INDEPENDENCE: A THREAT TO OUR MENTAL HEALTH?

ONE of the most prevalent and often overriding psych emotional characteristic associated with the nowadays very rife depression is that of feeling alone, neglected and socio-emotionally isolated from others, especially those we consider as family and friend.

Attributed

Inasmuch as there are a multitude of external factors (from background to biology) that would account for one ending up in a mental state such as that, a large proportion of the psychological attrition attributed to depression occurs internally - meaning the source (of some them) has its roots in the individuals’ own patterns of thought, their thought quality and quantity as well as their interpretation of their life experiences and events. This is not to suggest that someone makes a fully conscious decision to drift into a depressive state, however, because of human nature and how vigorous can sometimes get, we are vulnerable to unconsciously making contributions to our own psych emotional downfall.

Let me try and explain. When we find ourselves in a state of depression, most times it is because we are (in the main) overwhelmed by past or present life events that put us in a state of disinterest, pessimism and emotional isolation; all of which sell nothing but a bleak mental prognosis for ourselves and our lives in general. We struggle to find ways to effectively communicate or reach out to others for assistance which implies that we tend to ‘bottle up’ way too much for our psyche do effectively and thoroughly process.

Believe

This, I firmly believe is the ‘brain child’ of an over-reliance on our own mental capabilities; which at this point are already being overworked. For some people, it is a whole lot easier for them to actively seek help because of their willingness to open up and speak to someone about what they are going through while for many that is solidly not the case. This can be attributed to variations in upbringing and personality traits (and of course we are all different) but it is fact that many people opt to maintain their emotional independence rather than sharing it.

Hyper independence, if you ask me, is when one is over dependent on their independence; whether it is financially, socially or psych-emotionally. They steadily believe that there is very minimal need for the someone else’s input in their lives. These individuals are not totally ‘socially aloof”, however, they are very restrictive in the way they conduct themselves among others, especially. For some, this is an innate personality trait that develops as they grow while for others it may be something that they learn to master because of a variety of experiences. In relation to mental illness like depression, hyper-independent people (or those that display traits of hyper-independence) are the most likely sufferers on account of the fact, for them unleashing their raw emotions, personal experiences and ‘darkest secret’ may feel like too much of an emotional investment.

The mild toxicity of hyper-independence lies in that it hardly allows you the ease and reassurance to seek the opinion or contribution of others because it may portray you as weak and incompetent. Therefore, many more people are psycho emotionally ‘out in the cold’ as a consequence and in the severest of cases end up taking their own lives upon realising the magnitude of what they were going through.

This is why it is of paramount importance to always check on your elder brothers and sisters, ‘the heads of our families’ and our ‘breadwinners’ and all who have to exercise mental strength for the sake of being the ‘pillars’ of others because it is most likely they go through so much they cannot easily share. Our part is to become sources of comfort and emotional warmth for them, offering positive reaffirmations instead of critical judgments and also offering reassurance that it is okay to speak out. Send comments to runsford0505@gmail.com.

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