MIND YOUR LANGUAGE WITH CHILDREN

Sir,

I am writing to express my concerns regarding the state of parenting in our society today. Upon observing the dynamics of many households, it is evident that little has truly changed over the years. It seems that mothers, in particular, often engage in lengthy verbal outbursts, which can lead to regrettable statements made in the heat of the moment.Let us acknowledge that no family is perfect, and it is crucial to address the realities that many children face. In households where one or both parents are involved in extramarital affairs, an atmosphere of tension and undercurrents inevitably arises. The children in these environments often bear the brunt of the resulting emotional fallout.

Redirect

When a father comes home late, it is not uncommon for the mother to redirect her frustration towards one of the children, sometimes resulting in harsh treatment. Rather than confronting the root of her distress – her husband’s infidelity – she misplaces her anger, affecting the very individuals she should nurture and protect. As a result, children growing up in such circumstances may perceive promiscuity as normal, struggling later in life to commit to a single partner.

Reality

They internalise these behaviours as acceptable, when in reality, such patterns can lead to a cycle of dysfunction. It is imperative that those involved seek counselling and support; denial only deepens their misery and perpetuates the cycle. Additionally, I have noticed that many parents delegate the responsibility of raising their children to helpers, only to later lament their inability to communicate effectively with them. This detachment creates an environment where children may shy away from interaction, lacking the necessary communication and social skills that are vital for their development. I urge adults to reflect before speaking disparagingly to minors.

Pasts

Many of us experienced similar negativity in our pasts and vowed never to replicate those behaviours. Yet, too often, we find ourselves mirroring the very actions we once detested. The power of our words should not be underestimated; they can either uplift or destroy. I often hear people claim that I had a perfect upbringing, attributing my current character to it. I would argue that my upbringing was far from perfect, but I consciously chose to treat others with the respect I longed for myself. Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts on this important matter. I believe that open dialogue about parenting and its implications is essential for fostering a healthier future for our children.   

Jorge-Antonio

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