We are responsible for what women have become

Sir,

Sitting with the guys the other day we had a discussion about our women. You know how guys are ntsangayetfu; it’s just like the ladies when they are together.

The topic becomes the guys with the ladies, and the ladies with the guys. It’s just the way it goes.
Most men would like to believe that women are the ones who do bad things, and so would women with men.

For instance the guys will comment that women sell their bodies, kill their babies and generally have loose morals and are sometimes rude. These guys had a lot to say about women, but it was more of the bad stuff than the good stuff.

One of them complained about women bosses who always want to show their powers even when it is not necessary at their work places.
On the other hand, Sikelela complained that he was treated badly by lady police officers whose rudeness to the public far surpasses that of their male counterparts, he claims. Seriously they had a lot to say about women.
But excuse me guys, allow me to express my view here.

These women have suffered a lot under us.
We have made them develop a sense of hate for us men, such that given a chance they will do anything to get back at us. The woman who throws a baby in a pit latrine is not alone in this illicit behaviour because most of the time she was impregnated by a man who later dumped her.
The woman with loose morals was disappointed by a man, something that made her give up on a decent way of life. We rape them, assault them, maim them and even kill them. We generally play with their emotions and they have become fed up with it.

Destroyed

If you can think for a moment about that girl you impregnated the first time. You probably don’t know where she is and how she is doing today. She could be out there living a promiscuous life or even selling her body, all because you destroyed her future by using her and then dumping her after that.

We have many cases of girls whose feelings we have hurt, used physically and emotionally, and then left them with doomed lives.
But if we had helped them continue with their education or start those small businesses we would be proud of them today.

All I’m trying to say is that they need us ntsanga yetfu. We have made them what they have become by the way we have treated them.
We never listen to that little voice of a ‘no,’ no matter how small it may be, a no will always be a no!, it will never become a yes. But instead of respecting their feelings, we force ourselves on them.

Kabasa Dlamini

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