FEMINISTS DON’T HATE MEN

Sir,

According to many people, when one talks about feminists they will automatically think of women who hate men and hate the idea of having a family. Well, I have news for you: While I, for a long time, also thought feminists were a group of women who hated men, I happened to discover that I was wrong and most of you are wrong as well to think the same. It troubled me, as well, to hear people saying that it will be hard for us to achieve gender equality in Swaziland as long as we have feminists pushing the gender agenda, as they may bring their own motives and distort the whole idea of equality between men and women.

You are asking yourself now as to what a feminist is. Well, a feminist is a person who believes people should have equitable places in society regardless of their gender.  For a long time we learnt that men who hate women are called ‘misogynists’. I know the question still remains that if there is a name given to men who hate women, then there must be a name for women who hate men. While doing my own research I discovered that, yes, there is in fact a name for women who hate men and they are called ‘misandrists’.

While it might be true that a certain percentage of feminists may hate men, what matters is that feminism is about gender equality and it’s goal is to have a society in which a individual’s gender don’t restrict them from an equitable shot at success and happiness. It is good that now we know that man-hating is not part of feminism`s goals. It is just unfortunate that it is something brought by these individual misandrists who, unfortunately, have focused on the feminist movement. A lot of people may drink at school but that does not make the school a drinking club or beer hall.

We have for a long time been brainwashed that feminists hate men and the idea of a family, which has subsequently led to a whole lot of people being ignorant whenever the word ‘feminist’ comes up and everything that comes along with it and its ideologies. Researchers say the feminist movement started way back in the early 1700’s, but they really did not achieve much at that particular time until the late 1800’s. What was it that these so called men-haters were asking for? The basic things they asked for were: The rights to own property, to vote and to attend school and college. But, if I may ask, was that too much to ask for? Did they deserve, or still deserve, to be labeled as ‘anti-men’ or ‘anti- God’? These requests have been labeled by conformists of patriarchy as ‘too radical’.

The perceptions that we have carried for a long time about equality can change if we positively engage men and women and boys and girls while recognising the resentments that may come with adjusting to change, as change is never an easy thing to accept. But we at the same time cannot run away from it. Feminism only calls for men and women to think about normalised behaviours and their impact; it also holds people accountable for sexist thinking and behaviour even if they didn’t initially realise it was sexist.

It is true that when someone brings something new to what you know, they may be met with resistance because you never thought what you were holding on to was wrong, but that doesn’t make what they are bringing into the picture wrong as well.
Samora Makama

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