MIXED FEELINGS OVER LOBOLA RETURN

MBABANE – Following a judgment to repay a man his lobola for marrying a non-virgin woman, social media has been abuzz over the topic.

Judge Mumcy Dlamini issued a court ruling last week where she ordered a woman and her mother to return a herd of nine cattle to a man she (woman) was married to. The man took the duo to court as he wanted cattle he had paid as lobola to be returned after he discovered that the woman he had married lied that she was a virgin. Members of the public had mixed feelings on the matter as some were strongly of the view that the man was right while others questioned what it was the man was paying lobola for exactly. Some were of the view that paying bride price was for ‘kwakha buhlobo’  (building strong bonds) and not the state a woman was in at that point.

Expenses

One social media user was of the view that the money or cattle paid as lobola was then used to pay for some of the expenses including those of gifts shared on the second day of the wedding (umhlambiso). He stated that it was for that reason that the lobola was for strengthening bonds. Others were arguing whether it was discussed before as they alleged that other couples didn’t discuss important issues, including that of children until they were already married. “It depends if they engaged each other on the topic or not, but it is important to disclose before even being asked about it so that it’s clear,” said one user.

Other social media users were of a different view as they felt the man was right. They argued that other women were dishonest. One of them even made an example of makeup, which they alleged sometimes made it difficult to identify the true being of a woman.  “When going for marriage counselling, such topics are discussed and the counsellor asks couples if they want to go for testing,” wrote another user.

Two elderly people from Shiselweni and Hhohho regions were also engaged on the topic to get their views. Mkhulu Gayiza Dlamini, who is 87 years old from Mbilaneni in Nhlangano, stated that the lobola was meant to pay for ‘intfombi’ (a young girl) to be a wife to someone.

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