MEN’S SEXUAL FLOPS MAJOR CAUSE OF GBV – LUTSANGO

PIGG’S PEAK – A member of the Lutsango Regiment gave her take on the major cause of gender-based violence (GBV) towards older women.

Lutsango is a traditional regiment for married women. Yesterday, Lutsango members had been invited to the Pigg’s Peak Town Council’s commemoration of International Women’s Day. The event was held at Gobolondlo Hall in collaboration with the Swatini Action Group Against Abuse (SWAGAA), as well as the Alliance of Mayors Initiative for Community Action on AIDS at the Local Level (AMICAALL). Delisile Dlamini, who spoke on behalf of Lutsango, said many people did not know the truth about the real cause of GBV. She said many women ended up being assaulted when they left their homes to find someone who was younger, who she referred to as a ‘Ben 10’. The term ‘Ben 10’ is often used to refer to someone who is in a relationship with an older woman, at least 10 years older. Delisile said the reason was that men allegedly failed to satisfy their wives sexually.

Satisfy

“Labancane bayayeweta inkomazi,” she said figuratively, meaning the younger ones were able to satisfy the woman sexually.“Sewutawuhlala uhlalele bantfwana,” said Delisile, meaning a woman would continue living in the same house with her husband because of the children, yet she was not sexually satisfied. “Kuliciniso kutsi ingati iyagijima, sengiyaphuma kutsi ngiyozama embili selicala,” added Delisile to mean that they also had sexual feelings yet when they left their homes to try and get satisfaction elsewhere, they ended up in trouble. 

Delisile said women also enjoyed sexual intimacy and needed to be satisfied, yet their husbands did not see this as important.  She also said the other challenge was that some men had developed erectile dysfunction due to medical problems such as diabetes. “Nalabo babe lesihlala nabo wena make Ndlela, kuliciniso kutsi nale dayideng ihamba iphelelwe ngemandla kulabanye bo babe,” she said, informally meaning some of their men developed erectile dysfunction.

The former Minister of Health, Sibongile Ndlela-Simelane, burst into laughter and appeared shocked at  Delisile’s statement as she continued explaining why abuse was common in homes. Simelane was representing AMICAALL. Delisile did not hide her dissatisfaction with men whom she said failed to sexually satisfy their wives. “Laba nibabona baphetse nje bayasidoja shem,” she said as her fellow lutsango members continued to cheer her on. They ululated and while some performed the kutsamba dance around her.  Her remarks attracted applause and ululation not only from members of lutsango, but also among other guests who were present. Another form of abuse, according to Delisle, was of men not financially supporting their spouses.

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