‘POLYGAMY CAN STOP INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE’

MANZINI - Some traditional leaders hold the view that polygamy can stop intimate partner violence.

Infact, they implored emaSwati to revert to the old way of life. The traditional leaders said such could be the solution to end intimate partner violence (IPV) in the country. This was during the Swatini Action Group Against Abuse (SWAGAA) meeting with traditional leaders which took place at The George Hotel yesterday.

Basics

According to the traditional leaders, emaSwati ought to go back to the basics and readopt their culture, which instilled respect in the home. They mentioned that one of these ways was polygamy, which reduced intimate partner violence in the home. Luhleko Indvuna William Mangwe was of the view that living double standards was what contributed to intimate partner violence. He said emaSwati practised both the civil and traditional way of life. Mangwe mentioned that these two things did not mix. The indvuna highlighted that the civil culture had put emaSwati in a dilemma.

“Our children nowadays grow up knowing that when they are in a relationship with a man, they believe that they should be the only one in that love affair. This is the modern culture, which promotes that you can take one partner, and a child grows up with that mentality,” he relayed. However, he said in the previous Eswatini culture, a woman knew that a man could marry as many wives and that would not bother her. Mangwe said life continued easily without any violence.

On the other hand, he stated that in modern relationships, when a man added another woman in the relationship, quarrels erupted. Mangwe was of the view that it boiled down to civil culture only permitting a husband to have one wife, and this became a problem because the wife would have issues when her husband was involved with another woman. “Our culture says even if a wife has been kissed by another man, the husband should still sleep with his wife at night,” he said. Mangwe further mentioned that in an earlier presentation, they had been advised that if a husband got into a fight with his wife, he should go out and get some fresh air.

However, he wondered what should be done if the quarrel started at night. The traditional leader elaborated that in yesteryears, when a man had three wives and had a quarrel with one of them, he would go and visit the other wife. He said the wife who had a quarrel with her husband would consider carefully about what she had done to chase her husband away.  Likewise, he said if the other wife started a fight, the husband would visit the third wife.

Modern

“On the other hand, in modern culture you find that a month will elapse without solving the problem. And that then results in the loss of life. SiSwati was better in that regard. There is a clash in these two cultures,” he emphasised. Ndabazabantu Luke Mavimbela questioned how many lives were lost from cases of IPV in the past, compared to nowadays. He recalled that there were less killings in the past and this was because respect was instilled in the home. “A husband used to respect his wife and wives respected their husbands,” he submitted. Mavimbela mentioned that one of the real issues that caused IPV were drinking spots that sold alcohol in communities. He was of the notion that this led to deaths because once people were offended while intoxicated, they ended up stabbing their partners. The traditional leader stated that SWAGAA had advised that when a man was offended by his wife, he should go out to get fresh air.

Untouchable

“But I say in the past when you had a fight with your wife, she would run to endlini kagogo and she was untouchable there as she was protected,” he said. He went on to say even when a husband had a quarrel with his wife, he went to sleep at kagogo until the anger subsided. Mavimbela stated that they were taught that when there was a fight, the wife’s forgiveness would be seen when she brought a container with emahewu. He said the husband would drink it and return to his house. Chief Khisimusi Ndlovu suggested that young people in schools should be educated about the Eswatini culture at a tender age. He mentioned that the youth had lost respect for the elderly and their traditional leaders. Ndlovu said if the education on culture was done in schools, violence would be reduced. He expressed that they had a challenge as traditional leaders in that they summoned the youth at royal kraals but they did not heed to their calls.

Post your comment

Your name:

Your e-mail address:

Add your comments:

Please enter the code you see in the image:

Image:

Code: