LET ME MOURN AS I SEE FIT – THULANI’S WIFE

MBABANE – “Let me mourn my husband’s death the way I deem fit.”

These were the words of the late Thulani Maseko’s widow Tanele, which she spoke through a family member.Thulani is the Human Rights Lawyer who was gunned down in his parental home at KaLuhleko over a fortnight ago. He was laid to rest on Sunday, January 29, 2023, and his death made international headlines, due to his prominence and involvement in politics, with some organisations calling for an independent inquiry into his death. The family member was responding to concerns by some members of the public, who reacted negatively after pictures of Tanele were circulated on social media. Tanele was pictured in her mourning gowns in South Africa, and in one of the images, a member of one of the political formations had put his hand around her shoulder.

Memorial

She was attending a memorial service in Johannesburg, South Africa in honour of her husband.  Some of the people who commented after the pictures were posted and circulated on social media, were of the view that she should be in the mourning hut at home and it was too early for her to be out and about. Some said it had been hardly seven days since her husband had been buried and as a widow, she should not be seen moving about in public, as per the dictates of culture. In response to the attacks, the family member, who was speaking on behalf of Tanele, said: “Mrs Maseko is hurting and she is in mourning, so the statements that say she did not observe the mourning period are just unfortunate. She is mourning and she is observing the mourning period, unless people are expecting her to stay indoors.”

The family member said being confined to a mourning hut was not a sign of mourning but a cultural practice that was expected of someone.  He went on to cite Section 28 (3) of the Constitution of the Kingdom of Eswatini. Section 28(3) states that a woman shall not be compelled to undergo or uphold any custom to which she is in conscience opposed to. The family member told this publication that people should understand that Thulani was not an ordinary person. He said Thulani affiliated to various international and regional organisations and alumni of various universities outside the country. From time to time, according to the relative, those organisations would require to hold memorial services or honour him in one way or the other. He said they would request the family to be present during the memorial services or events held to honour Thulani, because there was no better way of honouring a person than when his family was around. He said that was why from time to time, Tanele was expected to attend these events.

Travel

“Ordinarily, it would be expected that she should not travel, but these organisations are not here in Eswatini. I know the other question will be why can’t these organisations wait until the end of the mourning period. There is no definite period for mourning. “There are people labatakhela 30 days labanye batakhela a period of kugucula. When we talk about fundamental rights that you will not be compelled to do something, let people allow her to mourn her husband in the manner she deems fit (sic),” said the family member. He also urged people to understand and not be insensitive, as this was the most trying period for her and she was also not in a good space.The family member urged men to stop telling women how to mourn their late husbands, because no one tells them how they should mourn. He claimed that not so long ago, a pastor remarried within a short period after the demise of his wife, stating that these men never reacted the way they were doing now (with Tanele). “So this patriarchy must stop. I don’t think she will have time for these kind of attacks but she will concentrate on the fate labhekenene nayo at hand and do what she deems fit for the children, family and for the legacy of her husband,” the family member added.

He said Tanele was still to sit down with various advisors about the legacy of her husband and how she wanted to honour him. “What is clear is that, what Thulani believed in is real, what Thulani believed in must be pursued and she should be at the centre of pursuing what her husband was doing, but as to what manner and form she will take forward her husband’s legacy, I don’t think at this stage it is ripe to discuss it,” said the family member. Human Rights Lawyer Sibusiso Nhlabatsi echoed the family member’s sentiments, that women’s rights were protected by the Constitution, which clearly stated how they should be treated.“Men should stop setting certain standards for women because they are protected by Section 28 of the Constitution,” he said.   .

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