Deceased MP's family rejects wife'
EMAKHALATSINI – The family of deceased Mtsambama Member of Parliament (MP) Bheki Mkhonta’s is divided on whether to fulfil his desire to traditionally wed Bonisile Dlamini or not.
MP Bheki, affectionately known as ‘No Problem’, was killed in a car accident returning from a work related trip to Botswana.
The accident occurred along N4 where they collided with a truck near Zeerust. He was killed together with businessman Lucky Peterson while Senator Bhutana Dlamini and Nonhlanhla Shongwe from the Swaziland Investment Promotion Authority (SIPA) escaped with injuries.
Bheki was buried on May 5.
At the time of his death, he had already paid dowry for Dlamini, who according to his family he had planned to wed before the end of the year.
He paid the dowry in 2007. Had he still been alive Bheki and Bonisile would have been married sometime this month, according to his father.
According to Swazi Law and Custom a marriage between a woman and a man, though deceased, may continue if both families consent to the marriage. In this type of marriage the woman is smeared with the red ochre immediately before or after the funeral.
This, according to sources close to both families was the arrangement agreed upon immediately after Mkhonta passed on, which now some of his relatives are reneging on.
Bheki’s father, Moses interviewed on Thursday in the company of his son, Africa, clarified that Bheki and Bonisile were never married as earlier reports seemed to suggest. Mkhonta senior explained that Bheki only paid dowry to the Dlamini family but the Umtsimba ceremony where Dlamini was to be tekaed never took place.
"As a family we would like to correct the misconception that has been circulating regarding whether or not my son Bheki Mkhonta and Bonisile Dlamini were married.
"My son was never married to Bonisile Dlamini, he only paid dowry in 2007. The marriage ceremony never took place," said Mkhonta.
He said both families had earlier agreed to the before or after funeral marriage.
This marriage, according to Mkhonta could not materialise before or after the funeral because some key members of the Mkhonta family made known their disapproval at the eleventh hour.
"As per the Swazi custom, the Mkhonta and Dlamini families had agreed on the after funeral marriage. We agreed on this type of marriage immediately after the news that my son was dead broke," he said.
Mkhonta clarified that some of the key family members feel that fate long decided the obtaining status quo between Bheki and Bonsile.
"Even though I’m not going to give out the details of my family argument regarding this, but their general feeling is that fate long decided this issue.
"They feel that Bheki and Bonsile should have long been married by now thus their objection to an arranged marriage," said Mkhonta.
"He also disclosed that marriage arrangements between Bheki and Bonisile were at an advanced stage but were interrupted by Bheki’s death.
"He further declared that if it were for him the Mkhonta family would rethink its decision on the matter. Mkhonta clarified that family’s collective responsibility denies him the overall rights to take the decision to legally add Bonisile into the family.
"If it were for me Bonisile would have been long qualified as a family member. This decision is however not my sole prerogative. The Mkhonta family exercises what we call collective responsibility," he said.
He however added that a family meeting to further decide the matter will be held tomorrow.
‘Family should just accept the truth’
MBABANE - Traditionalist and Manzini Swazi National Court President, Ndumiso Dlamini is adamant that Bonisile Dlamini is already Mkhonta’s wife.
In an interview yesterday, Dlamini said Swazi customs and tradition steps already covered qualifies Bonisile as Bheki’s wife.
He said it does not hold any water that she was never smeared with the red ochre.
He said there is no way the Mkhonta family would now run away from the responsibility after having done all these customs to Bonisile.
Dlamini further pointed out that the mere fact that the umtsimba date was already set qualifies her as Mkhonta’s wife.
Smearing
"The smearing of the red ochre does not hold much water. It’s not the Dlaminis’ fault that the Mkhontas started with what they should have done in the end. From what they have already done they have covered much ground in fulfilling traditions that Bonisile is their wife.
"All they need to do is just own up," said Dlamini.
Dlamini said there are customary activities that are done during the dowry payment ceremony which once done are never reversible.
"Apart from the dowry payment ceremony, you never bestow the mourning customs on someone’s daughter if she is not already a wife," clarified Dlamini.
She’s already Bheki’s wife - Bonisile’s family
MBABANE - Bonisile Dlamini’s family is adamant that she is already a wife to the late Bheki Mkhonta.
Bonisile’s brother, Dr Roland Xolani Dlamini narrated steps that the Mkhonta family undertook to qualify his sister as wife to Bheki.
He said it is not the view of the Dlamini family that Bonisile is Bheki’s wife but customary rituals done by the very Mkhonta family qualifies her.
He said they (Dlaminis) are in fact surprised by the Mkhontas claims that Bonisile is not Bheki’s wife.
Dr Dlamini said the Mkhonta family has covered almost all customary traditions and rituals that qualify one to be a wife. Arguing further he said the only tradition that was left are the festivities or celebration part called umtsimba where Bonisile was to be smeared with the red ochre.
"This sudden development about the Mkhontas stance on whether my sister is a wife or not is an insult to the Dlamini family and it undermines our integrity in society.
"We are in fact shocked by this. We never at any point forced the Mkhonta family to undertake all the customary traditions and rituals that qualifies a person to be a wife. They did everything in their own accord.
"How can they now turn around and say my sister is not their wife. What really qualifies one to be a wife? Isn’t it what they have already done to my sister," said Dlamini.
Narrating the steps that he says qualifies her sister to be Bheki’s wife, he said Bheki first got his sister pregnant and paid the pregnancy fine. He said Bheki then asked the Dlaminis for Bonisile’s hand in marriage and this was followed by the payment of dowry and the bridal gifts ceremony was conducted.
He added that the Mkhonta family even performed the customary mourning process on his sister.
"Immediately the news that Bheki was death broke out, his family came to my family asking for the release of their wife (Bonisile) so that she can honour her husband’s customary mourning process.
"Only a real wife honours this custom. During this process the wife wears her clothes in reverse and she is always covered prohibiting her from coming into contact with direct sunshine.
"As a Swazi I believe one can’t perform all these customs on someone’s daughter and later throw them away like nothing has happened," said Dr Dlamini. He assured that the Dlamini family is a true custodian of the Swazi culture and custom and they are going to await the final outcome of this matter before taking any action.
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