PERSONAL GOALS UNREACHED: HANDLING DISAPPOINTMENT

Eleven months into it, this year is already showing very clear glimpses of its coming to an end, which is worth noting came a lot sooner than most of us had anticipated. The year, which began with such optimism and hope both on a societal collective as well as on the individual front, brought with it aspirations for positivity, prosperity, stability, and recovery considering all that had befallen our country (and the world, generally) in the preceding couple of years.

Ambitions

Most of us headed into twenty twenty-four with ambitions to re-establish our normal life patterns, to get ourselves and our career paths back on the right track following various reasons for derailment, as well as to grow, achieve and celebrate as much as possible with those we consider our loved ones. On a personal level, many had set out with similar ambitions (and more) with the hopes of turning them into reality as the year wore on, as generally this is how we approach the start of a new year. However, as is the case with every year, things do not always pan out as we plan them to, regardless of how meticulous we may consider ourselves to be. With this being (arguably) one of the harshest life truths to stomach, it would be helpful to place it into a bit of perspective and try to make peace with it while grasping the important lesson it serves up.

Impact

From a mental health standpoint, all of how we live, what we wish and hope for our lives passes through endless thought processes, planning and some kind of mental investment, and because of that, it will undeniably have an impact on us if or when it does not go as we planned. Of course, this has a frustrating element to it, and not only that, psychologically it negatively alters the way one sees oneself; hence we start assuming we are failures or that we are not good enough. In a sense, this is justified, and in assuming responsibility for our actions, it comes with a degree of mental health to feel like that in the wake of personal adversity.

However, where many of us fail is in making a recovery from that and taking from the setback some tools that help us start rebuilding our character and image again. Going back to January, there are people who still go through their new year’s resolutions checklists that has not been checked even once, and of course, it is emotionally troubling to realise what you have and what you have not achieved up until this point. It is equally important that while you do that, you do not impose too much aggression, disappointment, and judgment on yourself; ‘cut yourself some slack’ is the popular expression that encapsulates my point. In essence, there could have been many reasons as to why you could not set out to meet your goals this year, with some of them probably beyond what you could have done.

Therefore, whether it is dropping out of the gym after you swore to lose weight or not being able to pursue that Master’s degree this year, the best part about it is that you still have the opportunity to pursue that particular goal with every chance of acquiring it. What we need to avoid is being too downtrodden by what we are able to achieve in our (daily) lives in comparison to what we ambitiously would like to gain, because this is what drags many individuals deep into mental health troubles as they battle themselves in their own minds.
My advice is, do what you can; there is no need to beat yourself up.

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