Surprise awards spoil charity cup night!

(Guest writer)

Exit Shwashwaza
    Sports Crew, enter
    Sis Gert, Gert… Ge-rtrude Sigudla simomondiya saseBhawini on this lovely Saturday morning yema-selections er… elections.
The naughty Shwashwaza Sports crew boys have taken a weekend off and esami lesi-khundla. As you all know last week Friday was the night for the SwaziTelecom Charity Cup prize presentation and nje kuba tintfo tami ke leti. Phela the boys cannot attend such formal events ngalama-All Stars ladzabukile and faded jeans. Formal events belong to mine ka mine… sichomokata saseBhawini. Whose idea was it to have the prize presentation on a Friday?
I love it because phela  I get to have my favourite wine – Cellar Cask (Red) without worrying about the next day at work but ke clearly with the poor attendance, Emaswati are not fond of the idea. Here SPTC needs to have a re-think next year kungaphindzakali because kwagcine sekungatsi yi-end of year party ye-staff saka-SPTC as bekusegcwele bona nje kuphela. Anyway I am glad Umlangeni  gave me the invitation card well on time before he took a plane to Taiwan. Some people are lucky shem… I am jealousy vele. Akasangifaki nakule-luggage yakhe Umla-ngeni sengike ngiye emaveni nami nje. Cha  I hope Umla-ngeni  is having a good time lena  and angasihlazi phela bese ucabana nalama-chop sticks agcine sekacela umcwe-mbe.
Kuse-Taiwan ke le… akudla-lwa nje. Siyacela Nkhosi usimele kahle lapho  e-Taiwan and don’t do what we wouldn’t do simaswati akini. Iwill leave the rest to the Shwashwaza Sports Crew kutsi ifake umyalo lophuma etikhulwini ku-Mlangeni who is part of a study and cultural tour kulela lase-Taiwan. Without further much ado… kwasho bantfu naba deliver speech, asivele singene etindzabeni  and review what turned up to be a night of shockers. Of course it was a Friday but still I was dressed to kill… an LBD – navy blue and maroon shirt to match the colours of the sponsor – SPTC. I was the best dressed lady of the night and thanks God I got to sit in the table just behind the first table where sat the Acting SPTC MD, Petros Dlamini, PLS chairman, Victor ‘Maradona’ Gamedze, FA president Adam ‘Bomber’ Mthethwa, Director of Sports, Sipho Maga-gula amongst other dignitaries. So below is what I heard and saw before the bottle of Cellar Cask took me to heavenly bliss

THE SPEECHES

Petros Dlamini (acting Sptc Md): Dlamini spoke eloquently such that I was giggling with each passing remark he made. He really touched my heart when he bemoaned the relegation of my favourite team (yes it is and will remain so until Kingdom comes) Mbabane Highlanders and how nje bona ba-sponsor they easily panic when such things happen. Dlamini said he hopes the football authorities will do something about this. Yebo vele Nkhosi… 16-teams it should be noma labanye like it or not. Yinkhulu le-club labatsi yi-Nkunzemnyama and ngeke ife!
It is not the first time that ground-breaking decisions that are anti-football or whatever excuse that is being peddled now. Ingani foreigners were increased to seven much against the spirit of the Pigg’s Peak declarations after a “special” meeting when it was bound to benefit what big team we know. Sekubuhlungu kuphi kenyalo if teams are increased to 16?Bravo Nkhosi!
Dlamini also explained how the Charity Cup has ensured they won a CSI Award and moreover he also praised the long serving Royal Leopard midfielder, Mxolisi ‘Stopper’ Mthethwa for his longevity on the pitch. Indeed age doesn’t matter to Nyambose!

Victor Gamedze (Pls Chairman): He was gracious in defeat wa-Madlenya. Though personally I couldn’t understand his dress code on the night… it was just unlike Gamedze’s trendy formal style. The jacket he had on might be expensive but it just didn’t do it for me…maybe nasiya ku  picnic. But he delivered a good speech and did well to congratulate i-Royal Leopard and also to dispel the talk of big three teams as suggested by the SPTC MD even though the reality is that vele there are three big teams in this country and there is no need to even mention names. Gamedze was very cheeky when he made special mention of the Leopard backroom staff yabo-Mxolisi, bo-Cruiser nabo-Khisimusi…..yes, they deserve praise vele  for the hard work they do behind the scenes. I am a lady but I know ayatimisela lama-jaha lawa… ayawuhamba umhla-ba futsi if the need arises!

Adam ‘Bomber’ Mthethwa (Fa President): As usual my favourite speaker, Nyambose can talk the sun to sleep while the audience gasp for thin air.  He was at his element. First taking pot shots at Stopper Mthethwa whom he said he had helped shape his future by telling him to go home early from Ka-Lohheya.
Heheheehehe… we know vele kutsi this is Nyambose’s favourite hang-out spot especially lapha etjanini celeni kwemgwaco lati-hlalela khona bese uyabutjubha.
‘Bomber’ said in the past three weeks he had ensured ‘Stopper’ left the place way before 10pm hence his sterling performance in the Charity Cup.
He then congratulated Inkhu-khu lemabalabala… hehehe-hehehe! Remember the infamous days of that Tanzanian juju man… Aghahowa.
I still wonder kutsi ingabe which hole did he disappear to.

THE AWARDS:

Top Goalscorer:
The Committee clearly loves Tony Tsabedze. Committee member Sifiso Dhlamini was at pains explaining how they considered assists and there has been one assist and it turns out le-assist was only seen by the Committee because mine nje angizange sengi-yibone i-assist ya-Tony.
If anything this award should have gone to Leopard’s Bongani ‘Chicken’ Sibandze for the impact his goal had. He scored the winner in the first semi final and moreover the winning penalty in the Cup final.
I am hopelessly aware the award penalties don’t count but his impact was the decisive factor in the event neither of the players who scored one goal had an assist as it was the case.

Best Goalkeeper
This award should have gone to Nhlanhla Gwebu who did not concede a goal in the whole tournament and his team not only kicked out hot favourites Mbabane Swallows but reached the Cup final.
On the way to the Cup final, Gwebu had saved two penalties.
Best Player of the Tournament
Here Zweli ‘Mlilo’ Nxumalo was the most shocking winner. This award should have gone to Mphikeleli for his overall display from the semi final play-off against Manzini Wanderers right to the Cup final. It was a bad, bad decision.

Best media (print) award:
To this day I am still shocked kutsi kune-tie ku-Casino! Bake bakubonaphi nje bona? Even if two reporters were to cover the same event, they will never depict the same picture. It just can never happen. If the Times of Swaziland has done a better job, they should just be given the award and not be sentimental about it. If the Swazi Observer has done a much better job than the Times, they should be given the award and for the life of me, this Committee must stop this sharing thing – It doesn’t exist, please! Nonela le-sponsor nje  when you do engage on this shenanigans! Bake bakubonaphi nje bona? I thought it was an oversight ku FixedFone and now they have done it again. Stop it please! Don’t be weaklings, give it to the deserving recipients ningasabi kutsi bani utotsini – you are killing the competition between the two print media houses nga-lokuba-sentimental and trying to please your friends! Stop this madness, please!

The Music

Bholoja gave a subdued performance. He is one of my favourites artists but he seems to be going through the motions nje. The idea of singing other people’s songs in vernacular doesn’t cut it for me. I have your CD ye-Bholoja… I bought it with my desposable income and nasohlabela tingoma tebantfu utsi ngentenjani ngale-CD? Throw it away and look for the songs lositihlabela ngesiswati wena? Come on man, kona asikabhadalwa but give us your songs, we love them!

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