WHY FEW MEN FIGHT FOR MEN’S RIGHTS?

I have had a difficult time coming up with a straight answer to this burning question I’ve had for quite some time. Ok, here’s a scenario - a woman is battered, or assaulted by her lover. Unfortunately, the incident goes viral on social media and media houses report about it. Women and women’s rights organisations locate her and support her in this time. They not only encourage her to report the abuse, but also hold her hand and accompany her through the process. They will offer to pay whatever legal fees are associated with her getting help and make sure that she lands on her feet stronger and wiser. That’s the norm.

Insults

And then on the other hand, a man is assaulted and the incident goes viral. Men on social media come up with insults and share anger posts about men’s abuse in the hands of women. By the end of the day, they have moved on to something else. That’s it. No one encourages him to report or offers him support to do so. Then a few days later when another incident involving a woman surfaces, men will lament about how no one helped the man from the previous week. ‘But, a man went through the same thing last week!’ My question has always been - who holds the monopoly to fighting against gender-based violence? It is like men expect women to go through abuse in the hands of men, and while they deal with that, abandon their fight to go and make noise about the abuse of the same men? Why do men think that it is women’s duty to fight for them? I do not remember one, not one incident where men came together and said: ‘Enough is enough!’ Or even an incident where men led a march or protest against gender-based violence. They always wait for women to say something, and then they interrupt that to talk about how they are neglected. Who is neglecting them?

Rights

So, my question is, why are there few men fighting for men’s rights? As a feminist, I believe that all people should have equal rights, equal opportunity and equal command of their own destiny. Men have as much rights as women to fight against abuse. They will be listened to and supported because their wellbeing is just as important. Some men have argued that men face discrimination from the media, government, and the police. And that is exactly why they should stand up for themselves and change this! That is the starting point. Beyond that, men should fight against custody laws that favour mothers over fathers, violence against men, false rape allegations, disproportionate male prison sentencing, and conscription. These are some of the inequalities men rights groups would strive to address if they really felt the burning need to address them. One reason I feel men do not stand up for their rights is the belief that the Sexual Offences and Domestic Violence (SODV) Act is meant for women. Where does that idea even come from? I always say, if you take the time to read the SODV Act, you will find how it even uses gender neutral language, there’s not even one part of it where it has ‘he’ or ‘she’. So who gave men the idea that the SODV Act is not for them?

Sympathy

Just keeping it real, as a woman it can be hard to feel sympathy for men sometimes. That’s the honest truth. It often feels like there is so much we have to overcome even to this day, and a lot of the talking points used by the men’s rights movement can sound like an excuse for sexism or thinly veiled desires to oppress women. But when you step back and take a look around, it actually becomes pretty clear that while women may still have a lot to overcome, men really aren’t doing well in our society lately. And this is why their plight against abuse needs to be taken seriously. This is why they need to do more to fight for their rights instead of waiting for something about women before they protest. So if we actually want to stop misogyny and sexism, and the growth of movements that prey on and hurt affected people, we need to start to show up and show sympathy instead of antagonising those that are doing something about their plight. More men need to start caring more about their rights, and that starts with supporting each other whenever the need arises. Then eventually, the movement can grow to engage government and create allies.

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