SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER

About four years ago, I lost a dear friend to suicide. And I’ve been reading and hearing stories about young people especially, those who have taken their own lives for various reasons.
This wave once went over University of Eseatini (UNESWA)  a couple of years ago as well. It is always an eye-opener, because as much as we might have an idea of what happened before someone took their lives, we do not know the last straw that pushed them to the point of taking the decision to end their own lives. So, one wonders if we are all at risk of going through the same one day.

Depressed

Research suggests that most people who die by suicide have a mental health issue. It may be a depressive or substance abuse disorder. They may feel lonely, depressed or isolated.
They may have had a traumatic life experience. One of the warning signs of suicidal thoughts is depression. Eswatini statistics revealed that there are more women who suffer depression than men, and yet there are more men who commit suicide than women. This means that isolation and loneliness may be the biggest drivers of suicide. In Eswatini, in particular, why are young people so troubled?

One of the reasons I can think of is unemployment. It’ the first thing that comes to mind, and yet it’s not the real reason because if one takes time to investigate the last few incidents of suicide, one can come up with the conclusion that a majority of the cases are by people who actually had jobs.

Challenges

The most recent example is that of the police officer who shot himself at work. My friend who took his own life about four years ago also had a job. People go through challenges that they prefer not to talk about, or when they do voice them out, no one takes them seriously. So the suicide risk increases if people do not get the support they need. The thing with suicide is that it raises more questions than answers. Could anything have been done to prevent this suicide? Was there anything anyone could have done to reassure this person that things would change for the better? And could anyone be sure that things would change for the better? In short, could anything have been done differently and saved them?

I remember how, for a while, I was very angry at my friend because I felt he could have talked to me about his problems. I was one of the people he talked to about anything and everything, so what was so different or difficult about this particular problem? I went through all the stages of grief and when I finally accepted his suicide,  I realised that it was never about me. It was about him and the things he was going through. So the questions we ask ourselves about their decision to commit suicide should be more on, what can be done to prevent a future occurrence, instead of blaming ourselves and being angry at them.

Relationship

One of the leading causes of suicide are relationship problems. Again, look at the recent report about a couple that left us in awe, after the man shot his wife and turned the gun on himself? Anyone else remember the incident that happened around Mafutseni, where the man drove straight into a moving truck because he and his partner had a misunderstanding?
I will not forget to mention the Ngwane Park incident where a prominent businessman shot his wife then himself, following speculations of infidelity.

Young couples are at risk because they are still trying to navigate the complexities of relationships. With this in mind, what can we do to prevent or deal with the suicide problem?
We cannot afford to just sit on the information and these statistics and do nothing. And if it is related to finances and unemployment, can we do something, collectively, as a country, as civil society organisations and as Parliament and law makers?

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