Letter to our abusive father

We sit here writing this letter it is out of love. We have come to a stage that we observe everything yet you believe that we are non-existent and because of our age you think we are still young and innocent.

There is one person who inspires us to believe that we are normal and she keeps us grounded yet you believe that she is abusing us. You have this belief that everything that goes wrong is because of her, like the time you were arrested and the time you crashed the car at a club. In both instances she was at home with us and you were not.

You and your so-called friends blatantly disrespect her as if she is nothing, to the extent that she has also started to feel as if she is not worth loving.

What hurts us the most is that despite all of the things you have put her through she still loves you and when you are out with God knows who all night she has never gone to or brought another man to the house.

She makes it a point when you are not around to always have either of us with her and not once did she betray you. The girls that are usually at the clubs are our peers and call every wife demeaning names which makes us wonder what they call our mother.

The times you belittle her and tell her to get out of your house, I hope you realise that you are not only hurting her but also us.

The nights you are never home you think we never notice that and you have always made it a point under no certain terms that you have better things to do and she is a complete waster of time.

She tried talking to your friends desperate to find a solution to end the problems that you were going through. They all told her that they could not talk to you claiming to be ignorant of the situation. What kind of friendship do you have because friends should condone bad habits, which cause friction in the family unit? As painful as this may sound we have come to hate the sight of your friends. When they are around we just grin to make them think they are welcome.

Whether or not you read this letter, we have experienced the worst in the hands of a person who vowed to be with us at all times. It is so simple for you to make choices regarding your life and forget about us and how your lifestyle choices affect all of us.

How do you expect us to treat you when we are all grown up? Money does not erase any pain instead it is just a means of getting what we need, yet you think it makes things better. For your information it does not.

The way you treat the woman you vowed to cherish, honour and love leaves so much to be desired. It is almost like someone held a gun to your head to wed her.

Even if someone would have asked you why you are marrying her, I guess you would have cursed them and they did ask you and your friends. The insults and beating she takes from you we often ask her why does she put up with it.

Her reply is she loves you and does not want to see you throw your life away after all your hard work. A man with no backbone stands for nothing and that we have observed because when your so-called friends call you at whatever time you are up and gone. Why us? Do you want either us as your sons to behave like this towards our spouses or us your daughters to marry men who will treat us in such a disgusting manner? It is time you separated yourself from the boys and become the best man you can be. It is time for you to earn our trust, love and respect.

What is really worth it for you to remain a male or to have a family that you can always rely on? How many male friends have ever stood up for their friend’s family after they have passed on or when things have gone terribly down?

The only time they are there is to ensure that you have been put inside that grave or until you have sorted out the situation that you are going through.

When times are good friends are at your disposal wait until things go wrong your friends dwindle and they are the first to let the world know of all the sordid details that led to your downfall.

We hope that this letter will touch all the fathers out there because this is the life we have to live because of selfishness from one of our parents.

The same may apply to mothers who treat their husbands as useless people stripping them of their dignity please stop because you are destroying your children’s positive focus on life.

Hurt Children With Hope

Bantfwana Bakho

MBABANE

Comments

Abusive fathers, please stop it and take care of your children. we are filled with criminals because of the abused chidren, they are hurt and take this hatred to innocent people out there. please abusive fathers meet your children's needs and stop being selfish and think of yourself only, why are women made to suffer while men are busy enjoying themselves.
June 22, 2010, 10:13 am, ntombikanina

Oh my God aze ahlaba lamagama. I hope all fathers who likewise could repent its never too late as the kids say, Natsi tsine bomake labantfwana basishiya nensayeya kutsi asitfobele emadvodza etfu.
June 22, 2010, 10:14 am, Tengcina,Germany (tengetile_d@yahoo.com)

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