It has been three weeks since Valentine’s Day, the day which flooded timelines with roses, promises and forever captions. Honestly, it was soothing to watch, it brought back hope that true love exists, but did it last? We were supposed to still be in the spirit of love, but instead, reality is settling in. Some partners are discovering betrayal and the season of romance has quietly turned into a season of revelations.
The very same people who were receiving red roses few weeks back are now in disbelief and hurt. Could we proudly say true love exists? For 24 hours, love feels certain, intentional, and beautifully packaged nowadays, but what happens after? The recent case of 20-year-old Tipho Ndzimandze from kaShoba, who was sentenced to 10 years’ imprisonment by Principal Magistrate Musa Nxumalo at the Siteki Magistrates Court after pouring boiling water onto her boyfriend’s bed upon discovering him with another woman, forces us to confront an uncomfortable question: When does love turn into something dangerous?
What begins as heartbreak can quickly become humiliation. What begins as betrayal can ignite rage. For many, betrayal feels like emotional death, it is not just about losing a partner, but it is losing the version of reality you believed in. It takes a lot for someone to be fully invested in a relationship hence betrayal cuts deep. Suddenly, questions like, was the ‘I love you’ genuine? Were the future plans real? Or was it all a performance that starts to flood the mind? True love, if it exists, protects dignity even when it ends. It should not mock someone publicly. In its nature, it does not create situations that dishonour the next person. It is saddening that the same love has cost Tipho her future. At 20, life is usually just beginning; dreams are still forming, trying to figure out how to make it in life. However, in one moment of heartbreak and rage, a future collapses. Instead of building a career, pursuing studies or discovering who she is beyond a relationship, she now faces ten years behind bars. Not in any kind should a relationship hold the power to erase your future.
Some argue that true love still exists and they point to couples who have stayed together probably for 30 and 40 or even 50 years. Couples who have been together for too long are considered a ‘happy couple’ when that is not the case. If true love exists, why do so many long-term couples seem emotionally distant? People don’t just wake up and file a divorce, but after several sequence of events. Sometimes, they reach that urge because they feel their heart can’t handle the betrayal anymore. The country’s cultural norms places high value on marital stability and children may internalise these norms, interpreting parental unhappiness as a necessary sacrifice.
This reinforces patterns where love is subordinated to duty, and emotional well-being is de-prioritised. When love fades between parents, it doesn’t always end in shouting or divorce, but it ends in silence. You know, two people can share a house but not a life; they may speak frequently, but with no connection. They usually coexist for the sake of children and this shapes their understanding of love. Decades of marriage, anniversaries and family milestones are often taken as proof of enduring affection; however, longevity alone is not a reliable measure of love.
True love should not be a matter of survival, but the quality of interactions, mutual respect and emotional support. Notably, previous generations seems to have experienced love as a combination of patience, gradual intimacy and commitment, which tends to differ from modern love.
In the era of social media, dating apps, relationships are often pursued with alarming speed and rarely builds emotional depth. Usually, social media encourages couples to display love for the world’s approval; from curated pictures to staged weddings. Love should be about two people who genuinely care for each other, who choose each even when life is messy. They should be able to nurture each other’s dignity and happiness off camera. For young people, love has become a performance designed to be consumed by an audience, leading to masking conflicts and disappointment.
In reality, when love begins to fuel violence, aggression and spiteful behaviour, it has lost its true essence. It should not bring the worst in you. Unfortunately, Tipho’s case shows how betrayal and heartbreak can provoke actions that destroy not only others’ lives but even your own future. It is vital to respect your partner; it transforms love from a fleeting emotion into a sustainable, meaningful connection.
In the end, when love brings out the worst in us, it has strayed from its purpose, but when love inspires, it becomes a guiding force and shapes entire lives. In a world where people rarely believe in love anymore, is it possible to bring back the essence of it? For comments; mkhabelanamhla@gmail.com
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