‘Glam rock’ is a term that has recently appeared before my eyes for the first time in my life. It emerged and flourished in the 1970s, after I had embarked on a pre-TV and pre-internet adventure in Africa; to several of its countries and ultimately Eswatini. Eswatini, of course, became number one.
Many number ones in the music world of that decade – half a century ago – were in the form of ‘glam rock’ with its pioneers David Bowie, T-Rex, Slade and, of course, the greats of that era – Wizzard. Also, it was Wizzard’s Roy Wood, a rather zany character who composed and performed in a spectacular, lots-of-make-up fashion, the great Christmas song: ‘I wish it could be Christmas every day.’ Played everywhere every Christmas, but presumably Mr Wood was not too serious about the ‘every day’ bit. Imagine the daily routine of hanging up the stockings instead of wearing them, as well as laying out tea and a cake for some unshaven guy who would be trying to descend your chimney, even if you didn’t have one.
That’s the glamorous part of the exciting myth of Father Xmas, aka Santa Claus (eesh, I do hope there are no kiddies reading this). The dull part they never mention, namely where this gentleman parks the sledge and reindeer, while chimney-hopping. He must pick up a few parking fines along the way. I do hope all liability is then waived. Even Charles Dickens’ Mr Scrooge wouldn’t want the esteemed visitor from Lapland brought before the court.
The folklore about Father Christmas will never die. Why should it? What gets trickier, however, is the legendary path taken by Father Christmas into the residence. As the coal fires of yesteryear slide irreversibly into global exclusion, we see our star visitor’s entry needing a re-write. What was not recorded, of course, is the number of times he was stuck on the roof unable to gain entry because the chimney had not been ‘swept.’ That always reminds me of the Bob Monkhouse joke. He begs his wife, ‘Please can my mother come down this weekend?’, ‘Why?’ the wife replies. He says, ‘because she has been up on the roof for the past week.’ The mother-in-law jokes have remained deeply ingrained in British humour, apparently originating in Roman times.
Seriously, though, Christmas is a wonderful celebration and brings families and communities together every year. The singing of carols is always an inspiring time with their meaningful lyrics and unforgettable melodies. In Eswatini, where four-part harmony is par-for-the-course, it will be additionally rewarding when singing carols together.
Back to the not-exclusively popular music of Christmas time, one keenly observed event is the BBC Radio 1 choice of ‘Christmas Number One.’ When it was recently awarded to ‘Last Christmas’, by Wham, they should have added the Patience Award. That single was released in 1984 but didn’t win the BBC award until 2023. Then it went on to be the first to get the award for two consecutive years.
Generally reckoned to be one of the most popular Christmas songs is ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ by Mariah Carey. Hardly surprising. It’s probably one of the best techniques of December 25 – marching into the living room singing that to everyone sitting patiently around the Xmas tree. A popular way to start the day.
One of the most enduringly popular Christmas songs is ‘White Christmas’ by the baritone great of modern times – Bing Crosby. The only guy known to be able to sing like you do in the shower. But Bing didn’t need the shower. Well, not for singing anyway. The whiteness of the snow captures the everlasting image of the terrain that Santa Claus and his reindeer traversed to reach the people of the world.
Those who live in the warmer climates of the world would gasp at the sight of the landscape outside after a heavy fall of snow. Even more exotic is the sound of the car tyres on a road covered in snow; but soon with the potential to offer the horror scene of cars crashing on the ‘black ice,’ where the snow has melted and compressed into ice that you can’t see at night. My only write-off crash came on such a surface in 1967. My car slid out of control on black ice as I moved out to overtake a car. By the time the driver saw me and my car, we were actually facing him 90 degrees through the slide. There were no cellphones in those days to distract him from the sight. I slid to the completion of the overtake and was greeted by a telegraph pole. Complete disaster, but none stopped to help. Too busy shaking their heads no doubt. I walked home 20 kilometres; thinking hard.
Christmas in religious terms is for Christians, but all religions have now embraced the spirit of festivity and communal celebration. To so many in Eswatini, the spirit of Christmas brings the joyous celebration of the birth of their messiah, Jesus Christ. To some, however, the spirit of Xmas is the one they happen to lay their hands on first when entering the local bottle store.
The best Christmas present of all is the ‘giving one.’ Giving something to someone for whom something will really mean something! If every reader of this article (probably four, occasionally five) does that, an impact, however tiny, will be achieved. Chubeka ngicela, bekunene.
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