When poverty becomes a personality flaw

Over the past few days, social media in Eswatini has been flooded with conversations about money, relationships and what people bring to the dating table. Young women have openly declared that they do not want to date men who are broke, unemployed or living in one-room flats. In response, many men have fired back, pointing out that women are struggling financially too and questioning what they themselves contribute to a relationship. What began as discussions about dating preferences has quickly evolved into something far more uncomfortable: The public shaming of poverty.

There is nothing wrong with having standards or preferences in relationships. People are allowed to decide what kind of life they want and what qualities they seek in a partner. Some people prioritise financial stability because they want security, shared goals or a certain lifestyle.

Others value emotional intelligence, ambition, kindness or compatibility above income. Personal preferences are not the problem. The problem begins when economic hardship is treated as a moral failure.

In a country where unemployment remains a daily reality for thousands of young people, reducing a person’s worth to the size of their bank account is both unfair and disconnected from the realities many emaSwati face. Every day, graduates submit dozens of applications without receiving responses. Skilled and hardworking individuals spend months or even years searching for employment. Many employed people earn salaries that barely cover rent, transport, food and family responsibilities.

A one-room flat is not always a reflection of laziness or a lack of ambition. Sometimes it is simply what someone can afford.

Likewise, unemployment is not always the result of poor choices. It is often the consequence of a shrinking job market, limited opportunities and systemic economic challenges that affect entire communities.

 The language used in these online debates often ignores this context. Being broke has become a punchline. Living in a modest home has become a source of ridicule. People speak as though financial struggles are character defects rather than circumstances.