Home becomes first place of betrayal

News broke recently of a 17-year-old boy in Eswatini who was arrested and charged under the Sexual Offences and Domestic Violence (SODV) Act for sexually assaulting two seven-year-old children. The story shocked me, not only because of the brutality of the act, but because of what it revealed: Our homes, the very spaces meant to protect children, can also become their first sites of betrayal.

Whenever we hear of such crimes, especially those involving minors, we instinctively picture a predatory adult lurking somewhere beyond the family fence. We tell ourselves, ‘our children are safe at home’.

Nevertheless, evidence increasingly points to a devastating truth – most children who experience sexual assault know their abuser. Sometimes, the abuser is a neighbour, a cousin, a sibling or even another child within the household.

The 17-year-old in this case is not yet a man, but old enough to understand boundaries. The fact that such acts happened within a familiar environment raises a haunting question: How do we, as parents and caregivers, truly protect our children when the threat hides within our walls?

I will be honest, it sometimes feels awkward to supervise my seven-year-old son too closely when he plays with his one-year-old sister. There are moments when I feel guilty for even thinking about the possibility of harm. I remind myself that he is a good boy, kind and affectionate. I also remind myself that protection isn’t about distrust, it’s about awareness.

Children are naturally curious and that curiosity needs guidance, not blind freedom. It may seem harsh to talk about ‘monitoring’ your own children, but the truth is that prevention begins with intentional presence. We must teach our children about boundaries, consent and respect for others’ bodies in age-appropriate ways. Conversations about privacy should start early, not after something goes wrong.

When my son helps with his baby sister, I try to model language and behaviour that affirms her bodily autonomy: ‘Let’s ask her if she wants a hug’, or ‘we don’t touch people’s private parts, unless we’re cleaning or helping them and only when mama or papa says it’s okay’. It might sound simple, but these small lessons build a foundation of respect that could one day prevent a tragedy.

Many of us grow up believing that children are naturally innocent and incapable of harm. That belief, while comforting, can also make us blind. The 17-year-old boy now facing charges did not become a predator overnight. Somewhere along the line, there were signs – conversations avoided, inappropriate jokes overlooked, curiosity left unaddressed.

Children learn about relationships and power dynamics first at home. If they grow up in environments where adults dismiss boundaries or use shame instead of guidance, they internalise the confusion. Some reproduce the violence they’ve seen or felt, turning victims into perpetrators. It’s a cycle we can only break through open dialogue and education.

Parents often underestimate their role in sexual violence prevention. We think ‘teaching’ means a single talk about ‘good touch’ and ‘bad touch’.

Real protection requires ongoing engagement – knowing who your child spends time with, how they behave around others and whether their moods or habits suddenly change. It means creating a home where children feel safe to speak, where consent is part of everyday interaction and where boundaries are respected by everyone, including adults. Even between siblings, playtime should be supervised. It is not about policing affection, but about guiding it with care and intention.

The SODV Act was designed to protect the most vulnerable among us, but laws can only go so far. What we truly need is a shift in mindset, seeing child protection as an everyday practice, not a reaction after harm is done. The saddest part of the recent case is that two seven-year-olds will carry this trauma for years.

Their sense of safety was stolen not in the streets, but in a place that should have been safe. Meanwhile, a 17-year-old’s life is also shattered, his actions will follow him forever.

This tragedy touches every layer of society: Our children, our families, our communities and our silence.

We must start talking about sexual safety at home with the same urgency we talk about education or nutrition. Home should never be a child’s first lesson in betrayal, it should be their first lesson in trust, respect and love.