Madam,
Emotional intelligence can never be overemphasised and the cost of treating it as optional is written in blood.
Not so long ago, a man of God was accused of murder. When asked why, he reportedly pointed to bitterness over his wife’s infidelity and children that were not his. Whether that account is complete or not, the outcome is the same: Unresolved anger turned lethal. A man in spiritual authority, consumed by resentment he never learnt to manage.
This is not a pastors-only problem. People kill over partners, over perceived betrayal, over wounded pride. Men and women attack each other after simple misunderstandings. The trigger may look small, a text, a rumour, a raised voice, but the real fuel is the same: An inability to recognise, contain and process strong emotion before it explodes.
Emotional intelligence is the capacity to notice what you feel, understand why you feel it and choose a response that does not destroy yourself or others. It includes self-awareness, self-control, empathy and the skill of staying relational under pressure. Without it, position, education or even religious knowledge offers little protection. A person can hold authority, quote scripture or occupy a pulpit while still carrying wounds that poison every decision.
Maturity is not measured by age, title or information stored in the head. It is measured by the ability to govern one’s inner world. Emotional intelligence is one of the most practical means of reaching that maturity. Practising self-awareness exposes the real sources of anger and shame. Self-control creates space between impulse and action. Empathy keeps relationships from becoming battlefields. Over time, these skills turn reactive people into steady ones. They convert private wounds into managed experience rather than public damage.
The fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23, which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, is not a list of abstract virtues. These are emotional capacities. Scripture is blunt about the alternative: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,” Ephesians 4:26. “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control,” Proverbs 29:11. Jesus located murder in the heart long before any physical act (Matthew 5:21-22). Unchecked bitterness still gives the devil a foothold, whether the person involved wears a collar or not.
Theological knowledge alone is not enough. Neither is social status or good intentions. A person can look composed in public while private rage is already writing the next disaster.
The mature person is not the one who never feels anger, but the one who refuses to let anger dictate the outcome.
Emotional intelligence is the most practical path we have towards peace inside families, workplaces and communities. It is what keeps an argument from becoming a fistfight, a betrayal from becoming a killing, a moment of humiliation from becoming a lifelong grudge. Those who treat it as essential through honest self-examination, counselling where needed, accountability and deliberate practice of self-control grow into people who can be trusted with pressure.
Those who ignore it keep producing the same headlines.
These events do not disprove the possibility of change. They underline how urgently we need it. The work is available. The alternative keeps repeating itself.
Thabiso PraiseGod Phakathi
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