Living in a world where interactions and social engagement are a permanent feature, we almost have no choice, but to be involved and take part. From basic, day-to-day stuff to more meaningful ones, we constantly find ourselves in the midst of our and other people’s actions. As a bi-product of these interactions, we form, create and maintain expectations from ourselves and especially those around us.
Psychologically, expectation is almost a learnt response; which develops from an early age and is shaped as we grow into the social world around us.
We tend to harbour these from a very tender age and as we grow and assume more responsibilities, the more expectation is born from that. To elaborate, the older we get, the heavier the expectation we bear from friends, family and our own children, in some cases. For a bit of context, the difference in what we expect from you in primary school is a world away from our expectations of you when you are well into your second job, for instance.
This says, as we get older, the world begins to see us in a different light and as you work on improving yourself, you begin to take on a different guise in the eyes of those around you.
This is positive in many ways. However, as is with most things, we cannot overlook the negative implications that may show their head, particularly on this subject. For some, an increase in the levels of expectation can create and sometimes, ‘force’ them into being better versions of themselves through harder work and firmly embracing responsibility. Alternatively, this may work adversely for others, creating a psychological weight, that others struggle to cope with. For some, this expectation grows exponentially and eventually works to overwhelm the individual to levels and forces them into struggling to cope. The assortment of responsibility and expectation blends into a cocktail that weakens that individual’s coping mechanisms, resilience and mental fortitude, as a result, threatening that persons’ psychological well-being.
Many people find themselves drifting off into isolation or start to feel a bit inadequate for those around them up, on discovering that they are unable to match the expectation present in their environments.
For those that perceive this as a pressure, it does become a pressure in the sense that it moulds into a weight that, somehow, they feel they cannot ease off. This explains how many people suffer from mental health issues that ‘blossom’ into full-blown depression, substance abuse tendencies and, sometimes, even suicide inducing habits.
Even though it may not be loudly spoken about, but this is a very tangible issue that plagues many. The mismatch between people’s expectations and your actual ability is, sometimes, a source of real internal conflict which is sometimes really hard to speak about. It is, therefore, paramount that we consider the realities of the people we have expectation of and give them ‘breathing space’ to grow and develop a comfort in themselves, their achievements and their future plans. In this way, they are allowed the space to ‘spread their wings’ and embrace their challenges as they emerge.
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