Home Comments and Analysis Professional pedestrian
Comments and Analysis

Professional pedestrian

Share
There is a certain kind of woman who has mastered the most profitable career in modern society.
Share

There is a certain kind of woman who has mastered the most profitable career in modern society. She is a professional pedestrian. She does not own a car. She does not use taxis. Public transport is beneath her. But somehow… she is always getting home and there is always a man behind the steering wheel.

Not the same man. No, no, no. This woman runs a transport ministry. Different drivers. Different routes. Different budgets. Same passenger.

The first thing you notice about her is how innocent she looks. Soft voice. Gentle smile. The kind of woman who says ‘please’ like she’s applying for sainthood. But watch closely.

That innocence is not a personality. It is a business model.  Every investor meets her the same way. She smiles. She laughs at jokes that are not funny. And then she says the most powerful sentence in the English language:

“Hey… can you please take me home? I’m walking.” Now gentlemen, understand something. A woman saying she’s walking is not information. It is a funding proposal. Suddenly, the man becomes Uber Premium.

Fuel? His problem. Time? His problem.
Traffic? His problem. Her only responsibility is to sit there and occasionally say: “You’re so kind.” Which, translated from emotional economics, means: “Your credit line has been approved.”

She never actually says she loves him. She says something more powerful.

“I know I love you.. and you know how I feel. Unless you want me to tell you.”

Now that sentence right there?

That sentence is romantic cryptocurrency.

There is no proof it exists.

But somehow men keep investing in it.

When the man wants to see her, she becomes difficult to locate.

Suddenly, she is busy.

Busy with friends.

Busy with life.

Busy with mysterious activities that apparently only happen during the hours he is available.

But the moment she needs something?

Oh, she appears like Wi-Fi.

Full signal.

“Hey… are you around?”

Of course he’s around.

Men in love are always around. You could text him at 3am asking for soup and he’ll show up looking like DoorDash with feelings.

Now if the man has a child?

That is when the performance reaches Oscar level. Suddenly she becomes the most affectionate human being on Earth.

“Oh, my goodness! Look at him!”

She’s buying sweets.

Holding hands.

Taking photos.

The man is watching this thinking:

Wow… she loves my child.

Meanwhile, she is thinking:

Excellent… the father upgrade package is nearly complete.

Because if you win the child?

The father signs the emotional contract immediately.

Here is the strange thing about this woman.

She always has time.

Just not for the man paying the bills.

Her friends see her every weekend.

Her social media sees her every day.

But the man financing the fuel economy?

He receives appointments like he’s trying to see a specialist doctor.

“Maybe next week.”

“Things are hectic.”

“I’ll let you know.”

Which is the emotional equivalent of:

“Please hold while we serve more profitable customers.”

Meanwhile, she is flirting with other men.

Not seriously.

Just enough.

Just enough to keep the market competitive.

Because a smart entrepreneur never relies on one investor.

You need options.

Backup plans.

Emergency funding.

Some men invest in stocks.

She invests in men who own cars.

Now eventually, one day, the man realises something.

He checks his petrol receipts.

He checks his time.

He checks his emotional bank account.

And he notices something strange.

He has made thousands of deposits.

But there have been zero withdrawals.

No love.

No commitment.

No relationship.

Just transportation services and motivational speeches. That is when the realisation hits him like a tax audit.

He was never the boyfriend.

He was infrastructure.

You see, the most dangerous woman is not the one who lies.

It is the one who never technically lies.

She just lets a man imagine the truth he wants.

And while he is busy imagining a future together…

She is quietly building a fleet of drivers.

Because somewhere out there tonight, a man is hearing the same sentence for the first time.

“Hey… can you take me home? I’m walking.”

And just like that…

another investor has entered the market.

Share

Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Don't Miss

Mountain homes face demolition

MBABANE – EmaSwati who were allocated land on hills and mountainous areas could soon see their homes demolished as the Land Management Board...

Bhunu Mall incident: Project manager not qualified engineer

MANZINI – The ongoing construction of the Bhunu Mall has brought to the fore critical questions surrounding statutory compliance. At the centre of...

‘MaMkhize’ brings back black, white kit

(At Prince of Wales Sports Ground) MBABANE – It was indeed a homecoming party. This came after Mbabane Highlanders President Shauwn ‘MaMkhize’ Mkhize...

Sebakhona Clare Matisa finds new life purpose

Entering the public eye comes with a unique set of expectations. For University of Eswatini student Sebakhona Clare Matisa, national recognition arrived when...

Home Affairs Corruption: Cleaners fired for selling marriage certificates

MBABANE – Two Ministry of Home Affairs cleaners have been dismissed from the public service after admitting to soliciting money from the public....

Related Articles

PM’s disruptive leadership style:

Does debate overshadow urgent issues? Before we delve into the interesting topic...

The price of getting to work

There is a peculiar arithmetic to poverty; sometimes, the harder you work,...

Parental responsibility is what you make it

It is entirely natural, whether explicitly or implicitly, for every parent to...

Africa needs less vanity railways

Africa has never lacked grand railway dreams. What it has lacked is...